Count down & celebrate b'day with girlS

Before I watch my movie, I think I should blog first! Hehehe~

I drove Ley & Mei to Econsave, while Huey fetched Ai Li & P.chin. Hmm... Coincidentally, we met Jocelyn's parents, & Huey said hi with them such like met friends!!!! Erm... we bought a lot of yogurts, hehe... for our siblings. Then, they bought some junk foods & "xiang bing" too.

My car key lack of battery, it couldn't work last night. Sighss... Therefore, we left Ley in the car & while Mei & I went to buy cake. I didn't know what she talked to him, erm... He maybe hurt.

We parked our cars at Joy's house, walking to a coffee shop to have our western food. They said I was busy to my phone only & I'd be the last one who finish the food. Blek... I was not. Hahahaa~

Of course, we backed to her house to have our party. Hehe~ Ai Li suggested to play true or dare, she was against me. =.-" Played until the end, we became playing questions & answers?! Others, they hadn't interesting, but only me, they'd interest to know. They thought I hide them.
Watching movie, Mei laughed like a crazy. Zzz.... it caused we laughed together with her.

It's time to count down, 3 2 1... pop the "xiang bing" & sang with cake ..."Happy Birthday.... & Happy New Year" Hahaha ... Happy Birthday early for P.Chin. Hehe~

We had tried the xiang bing & cake, it tasted nice. We only played one round UNO, sighs. They searched about hers, taking some pictures, see here <

Seriously, I was very full. & those girls were so like "xiao po" indeed. Finally, they asked to make a wish for 2o11, everyone of us should make a wish.

Well, I'm not expect to 2011, I'm afraid for this year. Sighs... I know it'd be a much more challenging year for me, breathless. & I don't want back to school!!!

Anyway, I had a great day with those girls. ^^ My phone keep ringing at around many blessing msg from friends, thank you. wish you all, Happy New Year & all the best.

I don't want to be there!!!!

2010 is gonna ended soon!! It means I gonna back to the boring school soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never...I never so hate & so moody to go to school!!!!!!!!

Primary school, the holidays were like not enough for me to play, but stool hope back to school to see those friends since there was the only place for us to meet. Although, I hadn't much friends there. The last year at that school, with 6B, those friends are rich & clever & hardworking. Hahaha.. They were pretty nice & concerning for me, they never looked down to me, it was a warm class. I think except my old & great friends, those few, I never had so much people treated me warmly. I was a person who extremely quiet, unless you were close with me, otherwise I won't even talk with you. This was me. Hahaha...

Secondary school, I was very scare at the beginning since everything was strange, & the only two people who I wasn't strange were just Huey & Pei Yi, but Pei Yi was different class with me since Form 1. Hence, I only could stick with Huey, hahaha... Because of her, I only could know Mei them. It was cold that we still always join each other, however, some of us did at different class. Uh, until today, 6 years, cool, right? & next year would be the 7th year! Alright, till Form 4, I just became not so quiet, hahaa.... & getting closer with Yanling. Everyday, I went to school, she would give me a beauty smile. Sometimes, she'd force me to say out what's wrong with myself. Haha... I still remember, when the teacher wasn't at the class, we'd stood at outside the class to talk about secrets. The class, although, sometimes wasn't so peace since they sometimes would fight in the class. It was shocked me. Anyway, I still didn't feel dislike to go to school because I love the school, letting I know all of them.

I don't know what's wrong with me now. I'm not the person who will hate to study until don't want go to school. But somehow, I really don't want go to school, the SJ!!!!!! I hope the holidays would continue, I just don't want go to school anymore. I don't know whatever is I still uncustomary or other unknown reasons. Sighs....

I don't want back to school!!!!!!!!! I don't want to be there!!

*bless, one year would be pass soon........

Have a nice day

28 Dec

Mei invited me to go to Sunway again, she said, "The last chance for us to sing k before 2011."

Alright, I was a driver that day. Honestly, I have been about one month haven't drive at all. Hence, I was pretty scare that day and as P.Chin said I drove slow. Hahaha.... & apparently, I was scare! Anyway, we reached there & backed home safely.

Oh yeah, I wanna say is I met many people that day!!! I just drove out, waiting for other cars across my house, I felt someone was looking at me, so I looked at him. I was shocked that was Huat! Haha...

Then, before sang k, we saw "xiao hua" & his gf. Mei said, "He looks like shy to hold his gf's hand. Last time I met him, he didn't also, & only his gf hold him. It looked fun. Hahaha..." =.-"

After that, it was shopping hours for us. Coincidentally, we met twins, their uncle bought clothes for them. Mei, Ley & Chin hoped to find out where the twins bought those clothes, and so we walked here & there. Hmm... Well, we waved with Pn.Lim. =.-"

Next, gonna find some foods!! Yoy, Mei said she wanted to treat me eat ice cream, but there didn't sell the delicious one. She made me expect to eat ice cream until now!!!!!

We left Sunway & wanna go to "wai sei kai", but over drove. Hehe~ Therefore, we went to RU to have our dinner, at there we saw K.Huai, yet he couldn't see us at all!!! =.-"

I purposely drove across Yanling's house, hmm.. Hehe... I guessed she wasn't at home.

Ley bought us to her new house & Wee's house too.

Finally, I fetched them home.

*Have a nice day

x'mas

EVE Night

Well, I guess those girls must got lie from other too much, so they didn't even believe in me. Fine.

Ahh~ I just curious with my dad cooked, & I tried the prawns!!! Hmm... I'm sensitive with certain prawns. Although, that's fresh. Those prawns caused my lip pained &... T.T until today still pain, but no longer "zhong".

Eh...I answered too fast to my mum's questions that about I went out. sighs.

Foo got the special drink at Sushi's house, pity him.

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Christmas

Hang out with those girls-mei, ley, chin & twins.

There were fun to see they bought things.

with friends

Last Sat

I received a last minute invitation again from Ley (Mei's assistance? As she helps to invite every time). Mei always like to invite us go out in last minute. Alright, I thought she (Jocelyn) wasn't going with us, but I stool try to ask. Surprisingly, she was going! & She (Huey) too, haha... Mei said, "Actually, I want to ask our boss to go too, but she has worked today..." I replied, "Have you ask her? You ask her first because sometimes she off early." Nevertheless, she needed to rush, it was so funny while reaching her house & waiting for her, and then we saw a girl "ran out", hahaa...

We was going to Sunway again for leliopopo.... hmm... It was late, but stool have so many people at there. After came out from the cinema, it was about 11.++ p.m., but we.... were be bad girls. It was really rare that we all would come out late & backed home late. Well, after movie, we went for Lok Lok, hahahhaa.... then just backed home...

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Yesterday

I didn't take a nap, hence I was pretty tire & sleepy before went to S.Ching's house. Visiting her house, it looks nice & quite big too. I admire she has a personal bed room.... x.x

Huey & I shared the laksa, she put so many cili inside. =.-"

Those girls..... were bad last night. Suddenly, they asked S.Ching to take a alcohol for them, trying it. S.Ching was really cool, one bottle. == While girls, so many, still couldn't finish it. Finally, they played a game with some guys too, hmm.. Luckily, I didn't play it, or else I'd be the loser!!! Hahaha...

It was a tire day...

I woke up at 5.45a.m. yesterday. Um.. I afraid I'd no rather to wake up again, so I turned on the alarm to ring at that time. I brushed my teeth and saw, OMG, the plates & cups which weren't washed yet...

Well, my parents went to Thailand again on Saturday night, so nobody washed that. Fine, I guessed I stool have time to slowly wash the mountain of dirty plates. I had used half an hours to wash that, hahaha... Perhaps, I was slow or the mountain was too high.

It's time to go to Mengkuang... hehehe... Alright, waiting for those guys-Wee, Foo & Bryan, girls (Lin, Huey, Mei & Ley) were starting whining. We left Ai li, one girl sat Wee's car with guys, lol, hahhaha.. Anyway, she won't mind to that. Seriously, Huey & Wee drove quite fast, "hiong" type one.

Hence, while reaching there, two different cars people, one gang ran at another side, and another gang walked at another side. I was one of the gang to walk, hahaha... Therefore, it was like, they went East, we went West; they went West, we were at East. Haha..

Then, they guys with Aili went for breakfast, whereas we backed home & prepared for second round. Hehehe...

Well, Mei didn't go & replaced by my younger sister followed us went to Penang. I felt like they brought us to Holand, OMG，originally, they didn't know the road to go Pisa & the Pisa can be very fast to reach as I know, but we used about 2 hours!!! Then, we went to Queenbay after that. The lunch, it was really killing me! Ahh~ I shouldn't bring my younger sister, I guessed, she always order the expensive things, sighs... In fact, the shop is quite expensive also.

Huey & shi lin went for singing k, while Ley, sister and I went to shops.

Backed home & I was seriously sleepy. hahaha.. anyway, it was fun.

I met her

I met an old friend, my best friend during primary school.

We chatted, she looked like not that happy as before & seem like have many things want to say, yet she didn't and me too.

However, I want to tell, seriously, I only "touch and go" my things.

I don't like online or chat at fb with friends lately, somehow, & lazy to on so long time also.

& for sure, I seldom have the chance to meet my friends and even tell them about myself, as long as don't know what to say because too many & when want say... it'll suddenly hang in my brain become don't know what to say...

Ya, at least I'm better than her since her class only her, a chinese there... sighs...

it is what a life be.. harder ...

Special days...

Although, I tried taking a nap before across the sea to Penang, I couldn't as my eldest sister's children and sisters chatted and played in my room. Till it was about the time to meet them (shi lin, nee, chin, wen2, huat, kc, hz and shin) at Jetty, I guessed there was due to the rise tide, feeling nausea on the ferry.

*The first time I sat ferry without car to Penang.

*The first time I took rapid, well, standing on it for quite a long time.

Those girls shopped themselves, I was withHuat, kc, shin and her hubby and met H.Sheng, L.Khoon,Lai2, Yang & Wc at Mc.D. Then, some of them went somewhere else, just left H.Sheng, L.Khoon, shin and hz, we went to a toy shop, touching and playing the toys, hahaha... Playing the laptops and ipods at an eletrical shop, then saw a kid fell down in front of me at the skatte, it was really fun. We didn't skatte, just looked for other skatte & met my ex-classmate & schoolmates there too. Then, shopping until the qb nearly closed.

Trying to sleep beside the beach, of course, we couldn't. It was quite funny that bp scolded H.Sheng because he couldn't find where we were, Mei & Ley were the 2nd & 3rd who couldn't find out us. Hz and shin left me with another 3 guys, fine, then mei and ley came and brought me away, finally. hehe.. Then, we met the couple on the way & went to guess songs at digi tank, it was quite fun, yet most of those songs are old songs.

It was raining, they sat on chairs and chatted, except me sat on floor & pressing ... It was cold and had a woman smoked there, one hour once, we were there for about 3-4h. It was really killing me to smell that. Nevertheless, there was lucky that I chose to sit on floor and corner, so they blocked the wind, & at least I wasn't that cold. & shin wanted changed position with me, but I didn't want..Haha...

********************************************************

*The first time didn't sleep at all at night.

*The first time ran under rain.

*The first time ran the Penang Bridge, 10km, it was killing me.

I lost them after ran & my hp was at Shin there. Somehow, I didn't feel afraid when I couldn't find them without a phone and only have money on me. Can you imagine there was thousand of people and so big, how to find? For sure you can't without a phone. Hence, I was thinking of walking to the tanks, if couldn't find just went into the qb. Thinking of if couldn't find them and met anyone who I know, I'd try to lend a phone from a stranger. Nonetheless, I was lucky & met Chai Teng before I wanted to step out the qb.

I felt pity to some of them need to wait for the rapid and the only rapid back to Jetty. Hz, shin and I were be stowaway back by a bus, so backed earlier. I slept not till one hour, my eldest sister came with her children again! They made noise and the small one even kicked my legs, OMG, tearing immediately! Fine, I woke up & gave up to sleep. How hope I have a personal bed room! Ahh~

*My younger sister treat me quite good since yesterday I backed, hahaa... I think she too miss me since she said when I backed, "Sis, I dreamt you last night. I asked you to eat "lo mee". Then, when I woke up, I saw mum really cooked "lo mee". So, weird, later you really have "lo mee" eat lo."

*********************************************************

I slept about 14h-15h (+the 1h nap), two days sleep hours combine on one night. Mum fetched me by motor to go my grandma's house to driving back my car which broken down at there. I was worry about my legs pain, how to drive? Yet luckily, I could. xD

However, I rejected to go out with huey since my legs are pain at morning, Mei called me at afternoon, "My legs pain too, see, I have go too. So, you must go! We now go to fetch you.... bath faster or needn't bath." =.-" I told my mum, "Those siao cha bo said want come to fetch me now to go out ar? Now want come! I didn't bath yet..." I didn't know how fast I bath, I guess it was quite fast! hahaa...

Rush me... just only went for a lunch at BM with them (Huey, mei, ley and Shi lin). Having Jepun food, uh, cheaper than sushi king & sakae, but taste nicer than them also! Have fun with those sampat d.

***************************************************************

however...

quite tire & sleepy...

have fun & challenge.

red and blue

She said, "Although, guy knows you're angry, he doesn't knows what you're irritate for. If he hopes you tell him, then it means he cares, and at least he asks." >>click here Perhaps, they're right.

Her another option is-every girls would hopes a romantic one and doesn't desire to accept a guy easily. However, she loves.




It's hardly to believe that she said out what I'm thinking of in a short talks.





>>click here It's (the 2nd paragraph) alike what you said before. It's guys' thinking, I didn't know it if you didn't tell. Nevertheless, I only know if a girl gets hurt for once time, she might try to have a protection for herself to prevent getting hurt, but still she'd give a chance again for her imaginary fairytale and it maybe would be the last chance for her to believe a fairytale.





Lastly >>click here

想法

真的每次听他那样说，心里真的觉得不好受，可是又不懂的该说些什么好。







家人，朋友，恋人，的关系都不一样。



不懂为什么心里很害怕受伤，不想在夜里偷偷哭泣到天亮，不想有段时间过着装忙的日子。

只是希望在那之前可以大约的了解彼此的性格。

宁愿在没陷得那么深以前放手，也不愿意在陷得很深的时候无法自拔。

没有准备好的心情；害怕。。

不是不喜欢，而是还没准备好。。

2010 celebrate huey's b'day

昨天的心情很复杂，很开心今年又跟惠庆祝生日，可是跟前两年不一样的是今年少了玲和槐。另外还有一件我觉得开心的是她愿意告诉我她的问题，她应该很不好受吧！至少她比我还坚强，敢发言，而我每次面对这样的事只会哭。*让我想起了我的伤疤*

*谈心事的时候刚好Pn.Heng经过。我眼看觉得她很眼熟，结果我也觉得我自己很好笑话讲到一半停在那里。

Location :station 1
Friends: Looi, Mei, Ley, Chin, Lin, Chewing,Huey & Sushi

Hmm.. 刚好那里也有别人要庆祝生日，结果店就放生日歌，店员拿蛋糕出来。

*希望槐，玲和惠每天都开开心心，生日快乐。
*希望以后不会再发生那件事。^^

My desire & lately

I guess maybe I'm the person lack of a sense of security, since sometimes I'll lose the direction even just for a small and stupid matter. I really desire to have a good sense of security.

Perhaps, you'd think why I'd like to think so much, considering the nonsense until fall into a cave. Well, I somehow I'd easily feel anxiously.

I've tried to don't think nonsense, yet sometimes it would fail, especially during the exams while facing the stress.

This is the main thing I desire and also the main reason why you don't know what I'm thinking about sometimes.

******************************************************
Seriously, I won't really dislike him last time and now too, however, U7 friends quite hate him.
Nonetheless, he said something to destroy my sense of self-esteem, maybe that's good since he stimulated me. He'll regret what he had said.

Alright, as I only want to live in peace, I hide and keep my desire, just try to don't stimulate and burn me.

******************************************************
I don't know why Looi is kinda bad lately, she is even worst than Shin now. =.-"

Keeping on bullying me since yesterday, but somehow her bullies are alike the jokes for me, hahaa~ When her mockery words combine with her acts, there are perfectly could make me laugh, that's fun indeed, especially when she figures out what other people's talks.

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haha.. I just read a note click here

*quiet agree with >>

金牛的伪装：忙碌

失恋的牛牛通常会把自己的日程表安排得满满的，加班、出游、回家陪父母是牛牛在失恋期最好的“伪装”。因为对于牛牛来说，忘记一个人是艰难的，还不如把思念的精力转移到工作、娱乐上来，不让自己有空余的时间去想那段感情反面更好。

【失恋後记】金牛座会抱头痛哭 << seriously, I only will do this, haha...

actually, there are still a lot accurate one, I lazy to copy & paste. hehe..

25 Oct 2010

Seriously, I didn't know how to do the maths, I guess I'll failure again!

Alright, somehow, I'm quite blur today since the morning. I had gastric during the maths paper, sweating~ It was seriously pain! Anyway, I had tried to answer the questions too, and then had my breakfast-nasi lemak. x.x I only ate a little, really couldn't stand anymore, it was getting serious. Thus, I had no choice to eat my cookies.

Without taking a nap, I went to tuition, then I didn't know what I did at the moment, blur~ I was blur was not due to I couldn't understand, but I was somehow the spirit was not there.

The irritate matter was my 2nd sister turned on her speaker louder when I was sleeping and it only passed about 20 minutes. It was fine, I hoped to continue sleeping, yet the someone called her, it made noise!!!! Ahh~ I planed to sleep one hour! x.x

The CNY has about 2-3 months, but now everyone keep talking about it. =.-" Hmm.. I seldom hear this topic during Oct.

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Luckily, she taught, counselor & told me, or else I guess I'd don't know what should I do.
Well, it is true that she becomes mature after this.

*Appreciate* ^^

24 oct 2010

终于，不能顶了，去penang什么都不用再想！

姐夫突然说要去吃laksa，二姐就说：“我和妹还有ｘｘ（我）共司就可以了。”
我：“三个人一起吃什么？”
“吃laksa啦！”
重复我的问题，结果，她们：“你是在想谁？你的boy?”
＝＝我的意思是，不够吃啦！
今天终于吃到了我想了很久的－laksa!!哈哈～

妹今天又吵着要去autocity，昨天才去而已。但是他们只去了１５分钟。
大姐女儿：“我也要去，我脚痛而已嘛没什么的啦！”
＝＝刚刚才去shopping而已，还要走。。
＊最后还是没去。

过后，去载大姐的儿子，结果他一上车就说了很经典的话：“小姨，你的头发哪里美？！你包tuala hor?”　笑到爆！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈～

《乌云密布》

一大早，hmm..还蛮迟了，我们同一时间走出房门，看他刚睡醒的样子，而且眼睛还肿肿的，想必他昨晚哭得很厉害吧！比我还糟。。

*洗完脸，各自回房去了。。突然，某人过来：“他还像哭了。。我刚才听到他哭。。” 我心里想着：“要你说啊，我早知道了！而且不会哭的人才怪！” 这句话我只在心里想着没说出口，可是用着不理不睬的表情看了说话的人一眼再继续抱着我的枕头做我东西。我自己心情也不好，我不想说话。。

他哭不就让他哭吧！你还去敲他房门干什么？他只想要一个人静静的在房间，你就不要烦他嘛，而且他最不想要让自己家人看到他的眼泪。等他心情恢复自然会对你笑。

*每次只要被姐姐或妹妹发现我在哭，就会开始问东问西的。我知道她们关心，但是我不想说她们总会问到底，就只觉得只想冷静都不行。可是弟跟我一样基本上不会问，就算问也是问一次而已，不回答也无所谓。

每个人都有自己不想说的事，每个人都有想冷静的时候。

希望他可以快快复原吧！

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speaking test

sighs.. I seriously "no eyes to see my speaking result"!! Honestly, I couldn't see it since the examiner was trying to cover it.

Sighs.. somehow, I always jam in a sudden & I seriously don't know what I was talking about, I meant my grammar mistakes. zzzz....

The nervous caused I couldn't care my points & grammars! Ahh~

Task A was really nothing to say, but I stool can stop on time, really ON TIME. zzz..

Task B I got thing to say, yet somehow my brain lacked while speaking, stupid indeed.

It's useless to talk about it now.

Anyway, thank to my friends, hehehe.. quite touch indeed since I never know that you would remember or know I need to take the test today.

The hero

Hmm...

We met our dad's best friend, I seriously don't know who he is. The "uncle" word came out from my mouth softly, it seem like only I could hear it. Hahaha.. lol.. *I went to see "you xing" with my family, but my parents were standing with their friend whereas us (with siblings) stood at opposite them since the grass is aching us.

When back home, mum said, "He is your dad's best friend & dad was saved him before. Thus, he is quite appreciate your dad." Huh? Save? How come?

The story...

When they both were young, once, uncle was chased & beaten by gangster with their long "parang". The "parang" is seriously long!! x.x Running to beach, and then into the sea, he came back from the sea again because he realised that he didn't know how to swim!! Hence, the gangster continues to chase him. Luckily, dad passed through there & held him to his motor, then ride speedy to hospital. Beside, there was lucky that dad ride faster enough, or else both of them would been killed & the "parang" was long! x.x

1 Oct 2010

I'm sorry since I couldn't help & concern. Sighs.. I got to know many friends are getting the bad results for their exams, feeling down & moodiness. Anyway, don't be too upset, I always support you. ^.-

Honestly, I'm quite afraid my coming exams too because I know I'm lazy & didn't really work hard. Everyday, the sleeping time is more than study time.

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Hmm.. Today is my mum's Chinese birthday, hehe.. Happy Birthday, mum!! & wish you be healthy... Love you ^^

Happy Birthday to Hz & Yuhao too.

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Yesterday, mum laughed while coming in my room, it caused I felt weird. She said, "One at living room hug & press her pillow, another one at bedroom to press her pillow too, I think both of you will take along your pillows to marry. You all still are kids??"

Zzz... Honestly, as I know my another three sisters are alike me, having bad habits. Yet our habits are not exactly same, except my younger sister, three of us would like to press our pillows or hug not only when we want to sleep. Hahaha... xD Alright, my younger sister was using handkerchief to "hit" herself face, but now she no more. But 2nd sister & I still do our bad habits, hahaha... We hug our pillow while playing laptops, sleeping, doing homework and watching movies also. I guess only when take bath and eat, we won't take along the pillows. Hahahhaa.. Funny, right??! xD

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I read a article while doing the reading comprehension at school just now during the MUET period. Honestly, I didn't really read it in details, yet it is writing about something which I'm thinking of.

I like this sentence- *The sensible choice would either be to break up or to wait, you cannot rush it.*

My mum... sighs.. I also don't know what I should talk to her, she asked so directly & the most terrible is how come she knows so much about people's background??

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Sighs...

I'm seriously don't hope to see his comments on my profile again!!

However, I tried ignoring that, he is getting over now.

*Luckily, I just deleted it. zzz...

25 Sept

I just feel like tire and I don't want to talk.

There are too many things I can't tell and I don't how to tell.

It's nothing different as this world just me alone, at school, at home and anywhere else.

Why?? *Every time I take it as a challenge, but this time I'm tire. I should say I afraid until tire... *
The problem is repeated again and again and almost the same.

You won't know how frightening if you live in a fear all the time.

Once, PA sir talked about something which caused I thought about all the cases, I almost lost control and cried out in the class, yet I didn't. The most terrible case, the screens, their faces...
*the unforgettable fear forever*

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We walked from Kwang Hwa until Apolo since the "you xin" was stopped at a sudden. It was kinda fast for us finished watching it.

He kept talking nonstop, I was tire to hear all of that. 2nd sister and younger sister talked with him together, somehow. Thus, there was only me kept quite, I got nothing to say.

I didn't like to say anything when those adults talk about each others' bad words, something like that, no matter is relating with grandpa, uncles, aunties, mum or... For me, no, I dislike to hear all of that, even if I hear, I'll pretend don't know. For me, just in case they really do so in front of me and hurt me, or else I won't consider.

I'm seriously tire.
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Going to a concert at Autocity, we was there for awhile only and met cousin there.

(another mixture)

I'm so sorry, Yan ling, I just read your blogs. When I read it, thinking about my grandma. I was thinking I had already ready to face it too last time, but not really since I stool feel heart broken when "the day". Alright, may god bless your grandpa. *You must limit the days to sad, it was what I did.*

Being alone, it causes I look pity at the class? There are only four girls at the class, including me, strange ones. Seriously, I really have no topics and things to chat with. What you can see is ME keep quite the whole day, sometimes even have no smiles.

Everyday, sleepy, tire, helpless, bore, missing, blank and...

If I pain, I pretend as no pain...
If I cry, I pretend like I'm only feeling sleepy...
If I feel alone, I pretend like nothing to me...

Meaningless...

*********************************************************
I come to my blog everyday, thinking of want to write something else, yet seriously I don't know what should I say.

*********************************************************
I went to "jiu wang ye" at last two days ago, somehow, my mum met a lot of her old friends there. =.-"
Having a smile to them, I got nothing to do. Honestly, I dislike go to a place which have so much people like that, at there, I was always thinking about 'I want to back home!!!'.

Uh.. My purpose to be there was to pray my 3rd sister and (I don't know how to say). Nevertheless, we were late to go, so my parents' friends' son helped us. Their son is so friendly and mild, mum praised. A little boy who has rumor with my younger sister since he was kids, lol... hahahhaa....

*********************************************************
These days, people like to shake their hands or .... I don't know I just feel weird why they like to do so lately, maybe I look like my spirit is not inside my body??

The little boy, Sobben, friends and a lower form guy... zzz... they did shake their hands at a sudden in front of me lately, yeah, I think maybe I always stare blankly lately.

The lower form guy is most weird, I didn't know him, he suddenly called me "jie jie". At the beginning, I was not smiling to him. I didn't know how many times he called, then I just smiled.
*********************************************************
Thank to Shin, Sushi, Ai Wei, Yang...

Erm...thank to Huey and Sley for helping.. hehe..

16 Sept 2010

I guess today, opps.. yesterday was my terrible day!!!

Suddenly, my brother said, "Let's go to Pacific together, we had such a long time hadn't shop together! Please~!"

I said, "Every time is your fault, you know what, every time is just left you don't want to join us! I'm lazy to go out today... x.x sighs... Fine, I have my bath first!"

Shopping with my family, we'd have fun there, I thought we're going home after we went to Pacific. Nevertheless, my dad was driving to BM, thinking he wanted going another shopping centre.

"Dad, where you want to go?", my brother got shocked since my dad drove to the road. Alright, we would never know where my dad bring us to go, he would never tell us, this time too.

"Eh, I have cooked today what, why want to eat at here?", my mum asked while near a restorant. Again, he didn't answer it!!! But I guessed I knew his answer. Hehe~

It should say we were very lucky to meet my dad's friend and his family there? Zzz.. Yet I kinda dislike a betrayer! Cheh! However, he was a betrayer, we'd like to talk with them, yeah, of course, there weren't including me!

As we were talking about his daughter's boy friend, somehow I changed topic to talk about 2nd sister. Hahaha... Then... the meeting about it was started!!!! OMG .... Obviously, my dad doesn't like the guy, ahhahahaah, but just my mum is okay. Well, my brother told us that his gf's house was near there. Hahahah~ What I can say is... funny... hhahahhaha~ I don't know what's wrong with my mum just now, she was funny! By the way, my brother who is a professional, ahhahaha... xD we use to say he is because we would like to get the opinnions from him, so once we have him, we're not that idiot! LOL... hahahhahaha... I said, "Since we have you, we'll getting clever soon. LOL. The steps are useless to us. hahhahaa..."

*Don't touch my things, please!! Luckily, they didn't! sighs... *

*****************************************************************

We had bought a cake to celebrate Sushi's b'day at station one, Happy Birthday and bless you healthy and happy and always be young! hehehehe~

Ahhhh~~ How hope someone could help and save me!!! x.x My friends... they're so frightening, you know? Asking the same question for the whole night, it caused I didn't know how to answer.

I regreted to go, sighssssss..... You all caused I wanted to cry, lol.. hahaha just joke!

*************************************************************

2nd sister, "Mum said my chinese's b'day is 3rd sister's chinese's death day!!!"

OMG~~~~~~~ x.x we were never know it until just now!!!

I said, "Then, you could never celebate your chinese's b'day after this!!!"

I think my 2nd sister might feel bad.

Sighs... 3rd sister...

What I want for "it".

In relationship, it looks easy, but it is not necessary easy.

You need to be tolerant each other, caring each other all the time and know the way to prevent your relationship get worst.

Before everything is started, you must at least make sure your personalities and temperament can be tolerant by each other. Additionally, you should understand the conditions and what he/she is thinking about at least on the basic level.

Thus, there are not only need you love he/she, and then everything can be ran easily. Perhaps, it can for some people, yet for me who expect to have a last longer one, I really cannot accept it so easy.

In case she is a play girl, or else she would hope to have a serious and stable one. I said I want a last longer relationship, a serious one. I don't want a fragile relationship.

《吃早点》

昨晚。。。

二姐：“刚才我跟妹和ah boy讲明天早上6点要起来了，7点要去吃早点，因为爸爸8点就要去做工了，可是他们都要我叫他们起来。所以，你明天叫我起来啦，我们靠你了！爸爸说我们很久没一起吃早餐了。。你叫我起来har!”

我：“哇，你们全部都靠我罢了。。（责任重大！）”

二姐：“没有嘛，不可能要ah boy和妹叫我们的，你知道得啦！ah boy很贪睡的，很难叫得醒他的；妹出一个门要我们等很久的，每次还要绑头发化装，所以要早早叫他们两个起来了！妈咪也是很慢的，他刚才还跟我讲他要7点才起来，可是他每次都那么慢，也要早早叫他起来了。爸爸就快的也不用我们叫得啦，他会自己起来，他7点才起来也不用紧啦！所以，你调好闹钟6点起来叫我！”

我：“ah boy 只有你才叫得醒。。现在指望我罢了咯！你跟我6点起来，6.15叫ah boy和妹起来，妈咪给他睡迟一点6.30好叫他起来了！为什么不要叫你的boy（这个是指二姐的追求者）给你morning call leh? 他打来你一定会醒的嘛！”

二姐：“我哪里有boy?”

我：“你敢讲没有！每个早上都打电话来叫你起来，下午也打来，晚上又打来。。一天不知道打几次？！乱到死，尤其是早上打来害得我不能睡！（其实晚上有时也是乱到我不能睡。。）”

二姐：“不是我的boy啦！他自己钱多要打给我的，我又没叫他打来。。而且我都叫他不用叫我起来，是他自己问我几点要起来，然后他打给我的。。”

我： “你就跟他讲明天早上你要6点起来，他就会打给你了！要不然等一下你假假跟他讲你明天要6点起来。。”

*******************************************************
今天。。。

#alarm 响#不好意思，哈哈哈。。我听到alarm的时候已经是6.30了！哈哈~睡得爽爽。。#
#改变计划！这是我一睡醒就想的事情！#

我：“二姐起来了！6.30了！起来了，迟了！起来啦！妹，你也好起来！你们两个跟我起来啦！”

#我变成了他们的alarm了。。。#

二姐：“给我睡都一下啦！你去刷牙先啦，刷好了才叫我，我才去刷！”

#其实，他们两个在赖床！#气到我，尤其是臭二姐讲要6点起来的！#
#我刷好了又继续。。

“你们好起来了！迟了！还不起来，你们是不想吃了吗？起来啦！起来~！！！”，我真的很想打人，哈哈~

二姐&妹：“你很吵咯！”

我：“hanah,我很吵啦！叫你们起来你们讲我吵！好跟我起来了！二姐，ah boy靠你了，去叫他！”

#其实，我有去叫弟弟起来，可是无效！哈哈~#

妹：“哈哈~我要去叫妈咪起来了！她一定还在睡猪！”

二姐：“对对对。。去笑她，她讲她一定会比我们早起来的！我去叫ah boy,要不然我们就输了！”

#噢，忘了说妈咪和二姐打赌我们一定会比她迟醒！# 呵呵，妹去叫妈咪，二姐去叫ah boy。#
汗~妈咪也赖床！结果。。是爸爸被妹妹吵醒！哈哈~

我：“妈咪，起来了！”

爸爸：“你还在包（盖着被单不要起来），你的三位千金都起来了，等你罢了！”

我：“你还再做猪猪嘴！还不起来？！” 结果就是还再赖床咯！

>>>去看弟弟房间的情况>>>>

二姐：“魏振胜起来了。。要去吃东西了。。。快点，一定要比妈咪还要早起来！要不然我们输了！”

#大功告成#

>>>>再去吵看妈咪>>> 6.47 a.m.
笑死我了！我边喊边走着，结果我看到妈咪。。起来了，又坐回床上拿被单盖着他的头，然后在哪里笑！哈哈哈~好象小孩一样！

妹：“妈咪，起来了！ ”

我：“妈咪，你还包起来！哈哈~” 扯开他的被单。。

二姐：“妈咪，你输了，我们赢了！你看我们都比你早一点点起来！就连每次最迟醒的ah boy都比你早一点点。。一点点。。哈哈哈~” #

我：“ zzz... 你也知道一点点吗？还强调一点点。。” #beh tong nia, 笑死我罢了！

*******他们很厉害赖床咯，还好我跟爸爸一样很少赖床的！呵呵~
我们一家是不是很幼稚？哈哈哈哈~********

没有大战就很好咯，大战的时候，就真的是要我的命！

又是我和爸爸最快准备好。。等着那几只乌龟。。 7.08出发！
*****************************************************************
很。。幸运？！我遇到leg跟他的老婆也是那么早就去吃早餐了。。呵呵~

二姐：“妹，四姐好像变白去了！你有什么秘方？”

我：“hmm...要知道啦！哈哈哈~ 没有秘方啦！” 其实，我不知道为什么我会变白咯。。

#讨论谁比较白。。可是，我弟插进来讲。。

ah boy：“我也是最白。。”

妹&我异口同声：“你最黑er~!”

ah boy：“我都没有讲完。我是要讲我是最白痴！”

妹&我：“哈哈哈~你自己讲的har..我们没有讲到咯~！”

8.15a.m 回家。。爸爸去做工了。。闷~

Sibling>>love

Zzz... I guessed my brother has gf, but when we asked him, he denied.

Yet he admitted last night. haha~

Besides this, my sister was talking with her friend via phone on the same time. We didn't know what the guy asked my sister to help, but my sister said, "Where got guys ask girls to help?"

My brother at beside disturbed them since the beginning, then he said, "Yea, this guy is so useless, how come ask girls to help, no wonder until today he still cannot success to court sister. Hahaha~"

LOL.. hahaha~ I was laughing too.

*********************************************************
My brother said this girl's attitude kinda alike my mum, sighs..

Alright, sighs.. they all said my area is short, x.x the shorter one is eldest sister. hahaha.. LOL.. haha

Hmm... Her phone is ringing now again, sighs.. =.-"

The best day ever with friends

I woke up late, at 10.00a.m, it was rush for me to bath, taking my breakfast. Luckily, I done all on time 11a.m.! hehe~

Dating and sharing with Jocelyn when other was watching Pirahna, the horrible movie which Jocelyn and I dare not to watch. xD There was luckily I chose to don't watch it! hahahhaa~ *long time didn't chat like that.. hehe~*

We started our crazy hours for singing K, it was totally frightening high at the beginning, yet finally we had no much energy left to get high anymore. I have kinda sore throat since Sunday, then yesterday stool singing K again, it was totally becoming serious. *Hence, I couldn't sing anymore at Jess's house*

Then, we went to buy something, sighs, I'm gonna to bankrupt. Sighs... Having our dinner at Sakae, some of them bought desserts after that at another bread shop, I wanted too. Sighs..

*Hz, Shin, S.Ching, Huey, Mei, Jocelyn, Ley, Theng and Cheng [Alex, Yang, WC, Yuhao, BH, KH, CK, Huat]*

Friends, take care, gonna miss you.
***********************************************************
Huey and mine second round-6B gathering.

I thought teacher wasn't coming so earlier, pressing my phone and walking. Well, Huey was in front of me and she blocked my view, so I didn't see our teacher was there. *Shocked, when I saw her*

Honestly, I felt quite delight to see them. However, I had no so many topics to chat with them, it was really great and enough to gather again. ^^ I found that we're still joining our gangs, the gangs which we were usually joining. Haha~

There was really fun and it caused I laughing when teacher talked. Hahaha~ Especially when she learnt how S.Yong call Kooi, lol, hahhaha~ it was fun!

Some of them are still the same, so mild indeed, their voice, their way to talk, their act... I think majority of the girls there are mild, sighs.. Huey said, "Yea, only you are becoming rough, especially your voice." x.x

We were capturing pictures, thanks, Jess, hahaha, your great camera. xD After that, we exchanged phones number with some of them, hehe~

*Teacher paid before we wanted to pay. It was so bad to let her treated all of us. Sighs..*

Goodbye for majority of them.

********************************************************
Third round-Jess's house.

[Huey, Kelvin, Wayne, Jess, Musical, Jyin and S.Yong]

They were singing K, instead of me since I was seriously sore throat. x.x
Huey looked tire at the moment, somehow. SIghs...

I tell frankly, I feel sorry to them because they were singing, but Huey was showing tireless and I was busy to SMS. Hmm... Although, they weren't getting that high as evening I was with my secondary school friends. hehe~

Anyway, it was a great day to meet them again and even joined them.

***************************************************
It was my best day ever with friends~! ^.-

Do take care yar, friends and miss you. hehehe~ xD

stupidS

I found out a kinda stupid thing again! *chuckle*

I really dislike her now, I guess maybe she too, but both of us just pretend.

It's fine since she is NOTHING for me, not even one friend.

Before that, I thought she is kind and nice, but now maybe she is not.

I don't know why and what I can let her copy?

She is such a copy cat! LAME!

*******************************************************
It wasn't because of I don't believe you, yet you seem like not serious. Then, how would I believe? In fact, I wasn't totally didn't believe.

It wasn't because of that, but if you want to think so, I cannot do anything too.

IF you don't know and don't understand, then fine.

I'm getting tire to wait!!!

I really hate and angry while waiting for her to come fetching me back.

Every time I wait for her, I'd think about she forgot me and left me at tuition center for about 5hours! It was terrible fear, I cried at the final!

She always forget to fetch me and there is lucky that I have hp now... But sometimes, I really will hate for this especially when I rush or too tire. sighs..

*something none of your business*

I'm tire for this kinda matter.

Before it been poisoned, turning to be a drug, it should be stopped if it would have a negative reaction.

I just don't want to lose since I couldn't!

I don't know which direction I should think about!

Delight? Irritate? Grief? Jealous? Fall apart? Down? ... the emotional would turn to irrational!!



Nobody could help, then depends.

*****************************************************

My younger sister asked two stupid questions, "Where is Bukit Mertajam?"
"What is BM?"

=.-" Both are the same one, okay? Lame!!

When I woke up this morning, I found out many my favorites!! It seem like have been such a long time haven't so many foods I love. hahaha~

Chocolate cookies, assorted cookies, pineapple cookies, other type of cookies, chocolate ice cream, vitagen, three type of our favorite mee and so on.. hahaha.. I think if there have chocolates, it would be perfect! Tasty~! hehehe~

Endless story

I could tell you that I was tire, sleepy and dying yesterday!!

Gosh, I woke up early and went to the club practicing the speech. I thought I could back on noon, then backed home to having my lunch. Nonetheless, I backed on near 1.30p.m, seriously, I was very hungry!!!

*Thank to Jocelyn and Huey's message. Hehe~ Somehow, I couldn't receive the MMS as well as last time. zzz... Anyway, I'll check it out later. Thank yar. hehe~*

After that, I took the time to prepare everything before 5p.m, I scare there would have some accident, so it is better if done early. hahahaha...

Then, we went to fetch Huat and BH. Yoy, BH, sighs, he even late than me. Sighs..

I tell you frankly, I was nervous, but I tried to calm down and didn't show. We had our practiced.

We were fear and panic at the beginning, after that, it was okay for us. Yet because of principal would coming early, we changed our schedule. Seriously, it was terrible! We should walk here and there to ask, paying attention to signal given by PA system.

I should say that he really helped a lots, if without him with me, I don't think that I could handle and prevent nervous. I don't know what it would be if only me at the stage! Anyway, just wanna to thank him, for everything. By the way, our other members, hehehe.. They really did a lots, some of them even no eat or what, sighs... Well, should take care. hehehe.. *Thank to BH's message, hehehe. You're welcome. You'd help a lots also. hehe..*

I don't know the party was success or not. sighs.. hahaha.. Alright, I had tried my best to do it. It was my first time and it might be my last time to be MC, really tire!

After 10p.m, it was time to pass to Joshua handling it. Finally, I had my time to eat and rest, I was totally dying and sleepy at the moment. I was shocked and saw he ate a lots, it was frightening!!!!

Our second round was MC.Donald. There were majority upper six students there in at room, yet we didn't join them. We had our seat at another place. We were there to chat only. hehe~ However, I didn't enjoy the party anymore last night, I only enjoy the time at Mc.Donald, it was the time for me to really cold down and rest. haha...

Then, backed home. I think it was my third times I backed home late at near 1pm, last night was the most late one. *I called my mum before she called me, hahhaa.. sighs.. My brother said me is a bad girl who would back home so late. x.x *

*The pictures all are not at my here. By the way, I didn't self-capture.*

*MP*

Honestly, I really feel irritate because the party is prepared by Club Ping Pong, but everything let the Club Tingkatan 6 to get?! It is unfair to our pengerusi and us! I know it is useless to say at here, yet every time I read until that part, I'd feel unfair! zzz...

sighs.. I'm scare and nervous. sighs..

Honestly, I hope that and I think I would help if I'm not MC. I don't want play this role, well, anyway, I will try my best. sighs... Otherwise, I change with you if you feel it is easy job, zzz.. It should everything depends on that day, we cannot prepare exactly before that, it is different as other roles. By the way, I don't know whatever we will have the chance to eat or not. hahaha..

However, it look easy, when you really want to do it, it is really hard. Hmm... I feel myself is bad and throw the job to him, xD

Hmm.. Although, I can speak well in malay, my vab. for malay is very poor, I can say if the skip is done by me, I don't know what it will be. hahahhaa....

Anyway, just wanna thank to him. xD

Hope that we good luck and won't laugh! hahah...

I hate all of this!!!!!!!!

Why nobody even think about my feelings, situations and conditions??

I hate all of that!! When on the way to back home, I thought a lots while driving just now. I straight away locked myself in my room after taking my bath.

I really cannot stand anymore! Why there is so unfair? Is that my fault?
I just feel like don't want to talk to anyone about this, no way, since none of you will really think about me!!

Everyone only cares about him, scaring of he will get hurt! Then, how about me? I hate you all keep saying him in front of me! I hate him so much!!!!!!!! He is disgusting for me!!!

Do you all think about my feelings when I see something (his act)? NO! YOU DIDN'T!!

Fine, I know, I shouldn't and I also don't want to hurt him. But the situation now is I cannot stand, I don't know how long I can patient all of that!!

Have you all even think about my feelings and thinking when you all said like that? Yea, however, you're telling the truth, have you think about me?

You all... only think about he cannot be hurt, he should be protected! Then, how about me?

Isn't just because of at least I won't become as him?

I could tell you, before he get hurt or becomes like that again, I'd depress and fall apart first!

Because of him, I cannot do what I want at school now?
Because of him, I should listen to your advice?
Because of him, I should always listen you all say like that?
Because of him, I need to be patience?
Because of him, I should not hurt him?
Because of him, I should far away to guys? It's sound funny!!

Because of him, I need to pretend and avoid his eyes side!!
Because of him, I feel disgusting at there!!
Because of him, I feel want to cry!
Because of him, I feel UNSAFE!!!
Because of him..........

Why nobody think about me? You all only know to tell me I should not!!
Then, should I give him hopes? Huh?
Then, will you all ask me to accept him? *chuckle*

I just want to be myself, okay?

*This is Patience's blog, if you're not satisfy, get away from here!*

Hmm...

Honestly, I really hate because of eldest of the family and cause those young's relationship become bad in the family.

I just try to be patient and pretend doesn't hear what they talk about, it is really hateful to know the ugly from them! I rather pretend don't know it.

It's a little bit out of my mind that Yang chatted so much to me at this morning. Erm... Well, I just hope that he will not disappointed me because he is same as my other cousins and brother. I don't know how to say, yet I just feel they are same when doing certain things. So, honestly, I have a little bit worry it now.

**************************************************

明明很讨厌，却还要带着笑来面对。。

明明很想生气，但觉得该收敛。。

明明很生气，却还要装得没事似的。。

明明很介意，却还要装得没什么。。

明明很忙，却还要做无聊的事。。

明明很想睡，却怎么也睡不着。。

明明就很想。。

*still have many... but, because I'm lazy to on my laptop, so someone is forcing me give her back her laptop now... zzz... *

Sept

Don't you feel that I become seldom to write a new blog? hahaha...

I'm lazy to write it. Sighs...

Alright, I think this Sept is the most busy month for me.

5th, the farewell party.

8th, my eldest sister will move to her new house.

9th, if success, we will have 6B gathering.

.....

so far I only remember until here, ahhahaa...

23th really want to have party at my house?
Erm... you all discuss first, these few days, I have no time to discuss.. hahahhaa..

Dying sick

I knew I'd sick since few days ago, but I would never know it's so serious this time.

I've been such a long time have not as sick as today, it is totally killing me.

Waiting for my mum came back to see doctor, I was dying! The pain is from my head till my feet, headache, sore throat, cough, fever and my bone pains.

I couldn't sleep, eat and drink, feeling extremely dying.

Finally... finally... the doctor came on 3pm, checking these and that... zzz.. I guess he thought I got A H1N1, LOL, hhahahaha...

Honestly, every time I fever, I would feel headache and bone pains.

Now, I feel better and thanks to my friends, hehe... but still have a little headache and bone aches.

I would try to attend all my tuition class, yet today, I missed it.

I never know it would be.. xD

I never know that it would be.

I talked about my friends to my sister just now, asking her about herself. Hmm...

Nonetheless, my mum who listened only half of my talks, saying, " Isn't she (my sister) asking you (me) about yours?"

At the beginning, I knew what my mum was trying to ask me, but I just pretended didn't hear it before she asked that sentence! =.-"

Anyway, my mum seem like would accept it IF the thing happen. Yet I guess it won't, maybe, and it is still long way to go for me.

****************************************************
I don't know how to say also.. sighs..

Alright, I feel myself is quite hard to believe in guys' word, especially lately. But sometime I'd believe also, haha... xD

I only don't want people lie me and play me like a fool.

Hmm.. Especially after watch the movie "nv ren zui tong", her husband is totally suck, sighs... he got different faces to treat his wife, sighs. He could act like very love his wife, but on the other side, he betray his wife. It is totally out of my mind since he act and pretend well,so good in lie! I feel like want to slap him, am I too irritate because of a movie? hahaha.. LOL.. I can barely say, I seldom love a movie like this and even will feel hot.

My days

Hungry caused I felt nausea this morning during the maths period. Luckily, the maths sir is not that strict, so I got the opportunity to "sleep".

"Wan Theng~", suddenly heard the sir called me, I had no energy to answer him anymore. "Are you headache?" Yea, but not exactly, I was giving him a fake smile, "sleeping" again. "Wan Theng, why you look so sad? Are you sad? You quarrel with your boy friend?" Zzz... I shake my head, how wish I could talk, yet I couldn't, I had no that energy to answer him.

I stood up and prepared to go U7 for having my 2nd breakfast, looking at him, I felt like he was thinking of I was sad. Nevertheless, it was because of I was too hungry! Perhaps, low blood glucose level.

******************************************************
She asked one by one, "What you mean for your success life?"

"Happy and healthy" [this is what I'd wish people when his/her birthday, sometime] Healthy, maybe... yet the happy since like depends on ourselves thoughts.
"Get a good job"
"Get a lot of money"
"Get more friends." KC answered, it is quite fun and special since .. um.. I'm not mean that friends are not importance, but just as teachers said.
"Be richest" too greedy, right? It is not my answer.

From the beginning, I only have one idea and it is what I expect the most for my life.
"A happy family" it looks simple, right? nonetheless, it is not easy to have a happy family.
I'm not mean that I should marry and even have children, then it is count as happy family, I only want everyone of my family is loving each other forever, living in happiness.

Well, while my words came out from my lip, Wooi Ling was kinda shocked and asked me something. The teacher was shocked also, but I didn't pay attention what she said as I only listened to Wooi Ling. xD

******************The craps are ended******************

The tearS

I don't know whatever I'm too weak or too funny, yet I could tell you frankly I don't want to be a weak person.

I had my thoughts, imagines and ... to them while doing some work this morning at school. I was upset for everything, nothing serious matters happened on me today. I feel fake. Well, sometime I'd feel like this since Form 6 and I don't want to let myself cry because of this again, thinking of I'll get use to it.

She told me something just now, feeling bad. I've a look for its details, so the worst feeling is getting stronger inside my heart as I understand her feelings. As a outsider who don't involve them, somehow, I understand her feelings since I was almost like her before, but I wasn't as serious as her. Honestly, as a friend what I should say, I've told.

Then, I try to stand on her conditions to think because she is my best friend, I feel.. I think.. Honestly, I'm sorry since I couldn't help you all any thing and I don't know what should I say to you also and comfort you.

I'm tearing..

LOL.. It seem like is not a big problem [the feel which I've today at school]
It is totally non of my business...

But... I'm crying... *I know I'm silly, I dislike this kind of me also, too weak...*

miXtuRe .. xD

It's like an emergency break, I become cold down since I'm a selfish.

I'm tire and I don't want to get hurt anymore.

Am I right to do so?

***************************************************

If you say, "I don't understand you, so I hope you tell me more about yourself."

Why should you understand me?

I always believe that time would help you.

Moreover, I'm the person who you share, I share.

***************************************************

Yea, my voice can be louder than that, but just when I shout, it is impossible to ask me shout to you all the time.

I'm not pretend to use a small voice, hope you know.

**************************************************

Sometime something won't be happened if you know how to control it.

I rather loss a chance, no matter it is good or bad, I also won't rather to let myself cry someday.

**************************************************

Since the day you keep laughing when mention that matter, I know, as a outsider, I see it clearly, but just yourself didn't.

Now, maybe you're regret.

Bless you good luck

**************************************************

She is a pretty girl who is naive.

Nonetheless, the god played a joke to her, sighs.

Wish she will be fine, however, I'm not close with her.

*************************************************

Somehow, I miss them and feel sad to know their situations now.

Honestly, we didn't even talk one word before that, we were totally like strangers.

Now, I rather be with them, at least it is not that worst.

*************************************************

Irritated

Sighs.. I don't know what's wrong with me today, something wrong, I guess.

I feel...

Ahh~

After that, I really angry and hate myself so much and WANT becoming a crazy to shout! Why should I? It's none of my business and actually, I can needn't to care about it what. Seeing from the surface of the problem, I guess you only would get half marks for it since it's not exactly because of that.

This is the second time which could consider as serious, for me only. Honestly, I feel I'm hard to control it, trying hard to minima and don't talk, so that nobody knows, but I failure.

OS "How would you know?" Uh...

Perhaps, it was too obvious just now.

I feel bad, angry, hate and disappointed to myself, feeling I was over, no, I'm over! Ahh~ I hope that I won't repeat next time.

Thursday & Friday

Finally, everything was settled and now maybe just leave one.

I hung out with Wooi Ling, Ley, Theng, Cheng and Darwin on Thursday. Somehow, I had the mood to hang out with them, yet unfortunately Keh Shin didn't go with us.

Wooi Ling was so cool since the twins' mother didn't allow them to go out, but she went to their house and "force" their mum to permit! Waiting for Darwin inside the car, there was so hot, you know? I knew it wasn't his fault. Nevertheless, Wooi Ling was almost getting mad to him, luckily, he did SMS to her and gave her reasons.

Before watching the movie "Sot", no, it should be "Salt", we had our Sakae. Hmm.. It was my first time to step in Sakae, xD. I felt sleepy in the cinema, even though, the movie was running nervously. On the way taking the car, I chatted with Darwin for awhile, he really had forgotten me. Anyway, it is great to meet an old friend, he is so talkative. LOL.

***************************************************************

It is always a tiredness Friday, so yesterday too.

We had our long meeting until 2.15p.m, perhaps, he could talk faster and shorted the repeating part. Sighs. Hence, some of us, including me was rushing like a crazy going to tuition which would start at 3p.m. I was totally tire and sleepy as what Shin said, I only hoped the time passed as fast as possible, so that I could back home and took my nap. Nonetheless, the time was passing slowly.

I got my nap after home, sleeping until near 10p.m, they came and I knew it was the party time! My nephew's birthday yesterday, he was very excited, having the cake and KFC as well. Oh yeah, we celebrated nephew and brother's birthday together last night since today is my brother's birthday, it is easier for us. Hehehe~

I only online for a few minutes, sleeping time was tilled for me. Yea, as I said, I was very tire last night and so I slept until this morning, feeling good since I had been long time haven't charge myself. xD

***************************************************************

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my cute nephew (Siang), dearest brother and Looi! ^.-

他们。。

向来都讨厌他们的，我没必要按着良心说我喜欢他们！小的时候就真的很喜欢他们啦，现在只有讨厌！就只有他最好。。

如果只是邻居那该有多好！

如果是关系很好的亲人那该有多好！

可是，偏偏两者都不是！

所以，真的很尴尬，很为难。

我们井水不犯河水，就算住在同一土地上。。

我真得很怕像吵架的事情发生，还好。。今天我们并没有为了这个而吵架！

我站在那里，我自己也不知道要说什么，要做什么。。我只是在害怕，在准备如果他们真得太过分，而我们真得吵架了。。我会跟他们吵，真的不是为了一个外人，而是本小姐忍他们很久了！我绝对不会再傻傻的站在那里哭，我说过我会发疯！

那么多年来，我容忍。。

他们的搬弄是非，

他们的瞧不起，

他们害我失去我很多，

让我失去一个和平开心的大家庭，

让我活在恐惧中，

让我差点失去我生命中最重要的家人，

害我活在眼泪里和提心吊胆的生活里。。

我真的没办法再忍受了。。

**************************************************

真的很奇怪，就是因为我们因该是很亲的家人，所以彼此的怨恨却比对任何人还要多。。

就是因为虽然我真的不想承认他们是我的家人，但我对他们依然还有一种我拼命想切断的关系，却怎么也切断不了。。

偶尔不生气的时候，会很怀念跟他们在一起的时光。。

对他们的那份爱依然存在内心深处，只是它似乎被太多的怨恨给包围了，让我看不清楚，更不想看清楚。。

Depress ar!

Why everything come at the same time?

I don't know what is my mood now.

Honestly, I didn't mind who is my partner to be MC, it is not the main point, yet the main point is everyone say my voice is small and I dislike to talk so much. Furthermore, I should use either eng or Malay to talk and I sure will laugh at the stage!

Last night, I saw something, I really feel hate! Then, I angry because he took that matter to be a joke!

The another he did something which I really couldn't accept! He caused I got disturb!

OMG.. now, I received a message from Huat, BH asked us all of us think one theme, OMG! what the hell la!

I really want to scold people and I want to shout people! Homework, no mood to do anymore! Now, need to prepare the party again!! Job, homework, stupid thing, disturb... all just kill me nia!

OH MY GOD~ I'm W.T Gwee, okay?

In fact, I was just joking to ask BH to be the chairman, they really shouted his name. Well, I didn't hand up for anyone to support them since I knew my friends didn't hope to be.

Thinking about the physic questions and listening to those guys' talk, they shouted my name at that moment. The black teacher, "Who's Gwee Wan Theng?"

There was no excuse that could be given as he didn't allow, I had no choice to come out. I thought nobody would support me, yet while stepping in the class room, I was shocked and out of my mind. I was thinking, "What's the hell? No... Who's the hell to support me? Ahh~"

Then, some of my friends started mocking me, "Wow~ You're the MC!!"

Why don't you just kill me? I rather to die!! Whatever roles I can play, but except this! Although, I dislike some other roles too, this MC, is the one which I can't play!

I'm W.T Gwee, okay? It's hard to imagine I stand in front of everyone to talk playing the role! I can't imagine myself also.

Who can replace my role? I totally don't want!

difficult

I don't want to say I'm tire again, but it is true.

I feel I'm lonely and breathless to solve those troubles around me, I need and expect someone to be with me and help me, solving it together with me.

I hate to make all the decisions on myself or people throw this responsibility for me, I don't want! I'm tire for all of that! I hate people to ask me do decision, especially on this kind of case, yet I seem like I have no choice to do decision since "they" throw the responsibility to me. If I cruel to someone, I'll feel sorry to he/she while if I cruel to myself, I'd feel myself is a stupid!

Why the thing is getting worst, difficult and complicated?

I hate it!

Why I feel hate when people rely on me?

Are you asking me opinions?

I don't want to be like that, I don't want to take this responsibility and don't want to be cruel to friend or myself! What choice I do, I'll feel sorry too, either I feel sorry to friends or myself. I don't want do this kind of thing!

Nobody can give me opinion in this case. What should I do?

Although, I want to be selfish, my heart is not allowing me to so!

How hope I'm cold-blooded!

I'm cool, they said. But I'm cold, why don't I'm cold, instead of cool?

I hate myself always do somethings stupid!

I don't know! I don't want! I only want to cry! Can I?

I need a shoulder, it is what I feel now.

Shut up if you don't know everything!

"We're still friends."

A sentence like this is rejection or giving someone hope?

I only don't want to be cruel and I only said this! I can be cruel than her, but I fear to hurt him and stimulate him to become more serious.

Later, you all whine I cause him becomes serious.

Well, I didn't say anything except this sentence to him and I didn't give him hope, never ever!!

Why don't you all think about my situation?

As a girl when you heard and saw the experiences from your friend, how would you feel?

It is terrible, frightening, horrible...

Now, I'm the person who scare than you and I might be the person who nearest compare to her.

I'm not brave enough to face it!

I don't expect and I don't want all of that!

You won't understand except I heard and saw the experiences from her, myself, saw somethings which cause relate with me, feeling nausea and hateful to it.

Every time, I pretend to be don't know.

Don't tease me or say I cruel!

I'm a human also, I'm a girl also!

I'll scare of I'm the second victim!

I EXPECT I won't be!

[I'm not thick face to think about it, but just many things you guys cannot see it and don't know it, except me and my best friend.]

Dearest ever

[Aiwei, Sushi, Chewing, Wenwen, Theng, Chin, Huey, Looi, Huat, Wc, Hz, Shin, Hensheng, BP, Yang, Wee, Foo, Aili, Phei, Shi Lin, Chee Wei and who else? I hope that I won't miss one of their names here.]

I'm sorry that it's Home Recipe, instead of Home Made. hahhahaha~

I thought they might be very few people would attend, but shocked, many of them attended and they late only.

Alright, I miss them so much indeed.

The whole shop was our voice. Hahahaha~

It was like a big gathering, cool.

We had our drinks, talks, shouts,shares, laughs, mad, pictures...

We were ourselves there, the one who no pretend.

We stool had many topics to share...

I was almost to cry when I changed to beside Huey, feeling like I got many things want to tell her... nevertheless, somehow, I just told a little. Feeling like down and almost tearing when I sat beside Ai li, I really agree with her.

Honestly, I suppose to be very sleepy and tire just now, but I didn't. I was excited until I forgot what's tire and sleepy.

They're always my great friends ever, no matter how.

I wish to be with them again and meet them again.

I gonna miss them so badly.

这样的我不知能撑多久。。

我真的很累，我很想哭。。 当我手搭在艾丽的肩膀时，我真的很想哭了！

你要面对的不只是压力，新的课程。。

也要因为你在新的环境和新的朋友的情况下改变自己来适应它。。

不是虚伪地斯文和安静，而是真的在那新的环境下没办法表现出真正的自己。

他们不是跟你各各不入就是他们大部分都是那个性格，要怎样好呢？

是个安静的人？对老师和新的同学来说我是，但如果你真的了解，我可以跟你聊很多很多，就算你给我三天我也说不完。再怎么说你跟一堆朋友认识至少五年，你多多少少也会知道他/她是个怎样的人，对于这个朋友专聊这个话题，而另一个朋友则聊点别的。你知道什么样的玩法是很疯却不会伤害到他/她。

他们总问我：“为什么你那么安静？是因为么有朋友吗？为什么不交新的朋友？”基本上，班上的同学大部分我都认识，说什么？我真的在班上没办法那么多话题，只有在私底下，在那个班我真的没办法。你教我要说什么？

我不是一个很容易适应新环境的人，也不喜欢改变。。

真的很讨厌改变，为什么就不能永远在同样的环境下成长，同样的环境也可以随着时间慢慢的变嘛，突然间要我变成那样。。我不想要变回小学的我，真的不要，那样很累，压抑自己，强迫自己为了自己的好胜，为了生存。。就算得到好成绩也只有成就感而已，而不是真正的快乐。

好不容易把自己变得爱说话点而已，现在又要像以前一样不说话。。

complicated..

wanna to sleep...

with them I won't know what's tire.

Summary about myself.. hahahaha~ as a taurus girl

If you want to know more about in summary, just see this... [hahahahaha~, it's extremely accurate! ]

金牛座的人似乎天生就有忧郁和压抑的性格。当这些累积到顶点时，就会如同火山一般的爆开。他们在十二星座中算是工作最勤勉，刻苦耐劳、坚忍不拔的；耐心、耐力、韧性是其特性。他们相信拥有爱情、美丽与富有的喜悦，是生命存在的证明，也是他信仰的真理，为了这个目的；他们会选择最安全、确实的途径（通常是长期的酝酿和深思熟虑的结论），一旦下定决心，没有人可以改变它。

他们忠诚、真心、善解人意、实际、不浮夸、率真、负责，凡事讲求规则及合理性。喜欢新理念并会花时间去接触、证明，是个自我要求完美的人；同时他们对物质和美的生产力方面，也是超人一等。> 　　

金牛 5.11-5..20>>行星是土星，它是时间的象征，统治思想和沉思的倾向。使得它的子民，变得小心翼翼，有耐心和体贴。它的力量在于稳定、坚忍和毅力之中。财富靠勤俭和小心投资。具宽大心胸，仁慈，乐于行善，富同情心。

金牛座女性> >>　金牛座女性在优裕的环境中长大，为人自然亲切，个性温柔，顺从。爱洁净，崇尚美好忠贞的爱情，具有抵制虚伪和谎言坚定不移的信念，并以此广泛地影响他人。> 温柔女孩>> 会不事> 张扬地对处在困境中的人伸出援助之手。对他人的关爱之心比任何人都丰富，所以家里通常挤满了拾来的小猫小狗 [I only love dogs, instead of cats, but some time I feel pity to those poor cats]。> 慢条斯理> 无论做什么事都慢条斯理。　　

信用度>>> 向来信守约定，在朋友中间信用度堪称第一。但是一定要注意言行，不要让自己成为别人茶余饭后的谈资。

固执己见

平时总是面带微笑，可一旦心情低落，就会紧闭心> 扉，一言不发。 [The two girls asked me why I'm so quiet in the class, isn't my friends are not here? I ignored, but actually, they're right for half. Since my friends are not with me, I feel unhappy. Hence, no talks.]要学会认真地倾听对方的意见。实现目标>> 认准目标之后，会一步一个脚印、脚踏实地前进。如果下定决心开始积蓄，将来有可能成为百万富翁。

太过慎重

你待人随和，会吸> 引很多朋友和你交往。但是态度过于慎重，不愿敞开心扉，这会使你错失良机，成为拓宽人际关系的绊脚石。

愉快地生活>> 向往美好的事物，具有将生活安排得愉悦惬意的> 卓越能力。在自己的房间里，会把称心的娃娃靠在床头 [This is my dream, yet so far I only can put one bear]，内心充满浪漫，一生都是如此。

独占欲>> 独占欲极强，如果得知知心密友和其他的朋友交往亲密，就会觉得朋友背叛了自己。[ Funny, right? hahaha~ I got this feeling. sighs~ I know it's stupid, so I try to avoid too.]

压力>> 热爱和平的金牛座是彻头彻尾的乐天派。如果有什么事> 会使你不安，一定是朋友们的一些戏言。学会一只耳朵进，一只耳朵出，就会轻松很多了。

习惯>>总是优游自在的生活，稍有不慎就有变成真黄牛的危险。一边看电视，一边慢腾腾地吃光饼干的习惯应当立即改正。金牛座还有让别人焦躁不已的习惯，这一点会引起人们的不满。> 　　幸福感>>如果每天都和随和亲> 近的朋友在一起，会感觉沉浸在幸福当中，无法想象没有情感的生活。如果选择适合自己个性、随心所欲的工作，也会获得幸福的满足感。

花心程度>>即便不是疯狂地爱上他，但是只> 要倾心一次，就会持续好久，这就是金牛座的特点。在交往期间根本都不会注意别的男性，所以可以说情感专一。

特长>>金牛座在美术和艺术领域很有天分，有很多金牛座嗓音> 甜美，歌声美妙。喜欢热闹，也喜欢在人前表现。

体质>>金牛座女性总会为自己过于丰满的胸脯而苦恼。粗短，不够柔软的脖颈和矮小的个头也是苦恼之一，但是能够拉近彼此距离的灿烂的笑脸却无可挑剔，可以为你博得许多人的好感。浓密的发丝总会为你换来美女称号。爱好美食，一看到可口的食物就挪不开脚步，所以眨眼间营养就会扩充到120%。即便如此，你也会以'不太爱运动'的托词拒绝运动，这更是使你曼妙的身体曲线毁于一旦。由于属于容易发胖的体质，所以要格外小心，但是在健康上倒不必忧虑。

[It's me.. hehehe~ only need to hightlight part since I know it's long, you won't like to read it.

sighs.. don't like now

OMG~ Gosh... If I'm not mistaken, I'll have chemistry test tomorrow. Oh no, I'd lost this time since I didn't prepare well anymore, sighs. Furthermore, I didn't touch chapter 5 yet! Sighs~ I'll shame this time. Sighs~

The class is getting tension for me. It's terrible when see and hear they discuss studies together, how hope I could join them. Hmm...

Therefore, except silent, the class is under a high pressure!

Yoy, somehow, I start to miss them badly!!! My ex-classmates~

I thought I won't!

*****************************************************

Classmates>> I miss...

The gossip girls gang... sighs... but they're funny sometime.

The girl who got repel, making a lots of noise behind me. Hahaha~

That day, we sticked together, chatting, sharing and doing homework at the same time. ^^

Siang Ching, Yi Wei, Yang and... guys teased Jocelyn and they debated each to other, I would only laugh, taking it as a joke for me. Haha~ No, it's like a show for me. xD

Kok Hooi acted something crazy and his laugh was so special. Hahahahaha~

Tian Yao always slept in the class, you could see this situation anytime.

Jackson would smile to us and I would like to see his way to talk, somehow. You'd feel he has a apple red face, hahahaha~ LOL.

Leong Khoon played cool, singing the same song, always. Hahahaa~

Their guys sang together with the same song, repeating the song in a long period, hahaha~ They sang until I could sing also, but I didn't know the song before they sang. xD

They called Jocelyn as Yanling jie. LOL.

Siang Pin quarreled with those guys and acted scary sometime.

Pei Keat and Siang Pin acted like, lol... hahhahaa~

They had festival celebration, LOL, singing those songs. Why they so like to sing? hahaha~

The day we had our talks to each other.

Boon Check and Li Check? How to differentiate? LOL... I hard to differentiate them, ahhahaah~

Anyway, still have a lot people and memories.

That day I laughed because of their noise and crazy. Hahahahhaa~

I felt relax to be in the class.

Honestly, I didn't so like them last time, but not till that very hate step, I thought I won't miss them.

At present, I miss their crazy, it's out of my mind.

Teachers>> I miss

Cik Malini is so cute size, hahaha.. she like our sister and sometime I felt she was like a kid.. lol

Pn.Leong another cute teacher. Despite, she could as our mother already, she still act fun and her laugh is totally amazing~ Hhahahahahah~ Every time she laughed, we all would laughed together too.

Pn.Neoh.. I like to see her wearing, lol.. from earing till her shoes.. hahahaha~ She is a responsible teacher ever. I feel her shoes and ear ring would always match with her dress.. hehehe

Pn.Tan loves physic things very much.. hahaha.. she always showed us her "toys", lol... sharing with us about her family and some politic.

Pn.Roshasma.. yea, I feel she is the only one Malay teacher who let me feel she is not lazy type. ^^

Why only ladies teachers? Huh? BJ has not guys teachers? lOL... heheh... our ladies teachers are the most great.

************************************************

I miss>>>

The day I woke up with a good mood, smiling to step in the school and brought a happy mood to back home too. It was great.

Those friends from other class... hahahaha~ Well, I mentioned you all the most last time, I guess you did feel bore if I repeat again. Anyway, my the most great gang and great friends... love you and miss you. ^^

Have a nice day with friends

I awaken by a message, it was great when I read it! Haha~ Jocelyn asked me to watch eclipse with her. Honestly, I'm busy these day, but I don't want to miss a chance to hang out with her. Beside this, she invited Keh Shin and Mei too, yet only Keh Shin could make it. Actually, she wanted to invite Huey, we knew she is BUSY! Fine.

Nonetheless, I thought Jocelyn would drive us go, she didn't. Thus, her mum drove. Haha~ On the round about there, I felt hateful, I hate there somehow! At this moment, Keh Shin said, "I dislike this road, it is a road to go to school! Every time comes to here, I'd feel hate!" Yeah, she said out my feeling!!!! I met my eldest sister and her family, LOL. Haha~ My lovely, he sticked with me and didn't want to let me go. Hahahahaha~ He is cute, right? Now you know how much he loves me! Hahahahahah~

Anyway, back to this, we bought 4.55p.m tickets. Do you know what were the seats we had? The front seats! OMG~! 2p.m was full, hence we had to take 4.55p.m. We asked for singing K, but there was not expensive and we had not so much time. So, we decided to shopping and I met them again, he sticked me again for sure, LOL.

Having our shopping, we took some pictures and watched dance competition, some of them are cool. I could tell you barely, we didn't shop until one hour yet, our feet were pain! LOL. Nevertheless, we had to shopping from 2p.m until 4.55p.m, about two hours we went! "Ai Li!!", Keh Shin shouted. Therefore, we thought she would see us since we were just stood in front of her, but she didn't!!! As a result, Jocelyn called her, then she waved with us. @_@ We had our drink and pancakes. Hehe~ Well, we met Keh Shin's classmate twice, once before the movie, once after the movie. Gosh~

On the high way to back home, I feel excited to pass through the way indeed. I wanted to tell Keh Shin that I love this road so much, but before I started, she started first. Haha~ Hence, Jocelyn's mum said, "The school has so bad? You all seem like dislike the school." Haha~ Of cause, there are such like a hell for me, worst than a jail!! I hate there. Every time, walking out from the school, it's the most delight work for me!

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Sighs~

Miss you so much indeed!

How much I hope the one who sitting beside me is you in the class!

How much I hope I could share like before we did to each other every day in the school!

I miss the day you could know what happened on me, you could guess and you'd right.

We had infinity things to share... we could share our thinking, feelings...

I miss you... love you.. hehe ~ *hug*

So, you needn't feel sorry to us today, it's fine to sit in front, but as long as we had a nice day.

sweet words

I totally dislike guys use sweet words to make like a joke for them. =.-"

Thus, it's not valuable anymore.

Why you need to so fate?

Why you want to use a lie to cause yourself so delight?

Do you know lie too much isn't good?

It's fine if you're using for awhile, but as long as I'll feel want to hit you, you know? zzz...

Fortunately, I'm not that naive girl. Hahaha~

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I guess guys wouldn't think about the effect before say those words, they might only think about it can cause himself feel fun, causing the girl feel good since the magnet's law. hahaha~ xD

Yea, girls would like to hear this, yet for me, not all the time, I may feel like want to beat person since it's too fate and it's a lie!

The worst effect is IF you (any guys) fall in love to a girl someday, it'll cause the girl feels you're unsafely as you may continue using those words on other girls too. As a result, it'll hinder you to start a relationship to the girl. How you get back her trust on you?

Moreover, IF your girl friends find out you use to say like this to other girls too, I don't think every girls are good in patience you on this. Nevertheless, you don't love those other girls, it may becomes a fire to burn your relationship with your girl friend.

I think so far I only have these ideas for the effects.

Nonetheless, if for me, in the case we're just normal friends, you better don't say too much. I'd ask you to stop and you better stop it, otherwise this will cause I hate you, maybe.

[I found that this things shouldn't typed out from my fingers.]

Should I?

Show encrypted text

I shouldn't

Since that day, I told myself, "I shouldn't too over. I've to control myself afterward."

I did it as I thought...

Yet, after that, I really regret to do so!

It was just like you could have a long safe way to go opposite, but you stool across via a deep drains.

Despite, did it clear, I stool can feel something wrong sometime. Hmm..

Hope that I'm not sensitive.

Honestly, I found that I still did as before, sometime forget to control myself and my words.

Sighsss...