What a hateful person!

I found that I really quite hate HER!!! I thought she wasn't as bad as I thought and I was trying to accept her as well. Nevertheless, she did somethings to cause I feel she's not only bad, but worst, hateful and fate, she seem like has two faces to face other!! Alright, she uses to smile to everyone, looking kind and lovely.

Yet, do you know what she did? I think only I know the real situation and only I saw the real! Perhaps, you might think I'm jealous, dislike, be directed against her or I'm too sensitive. Anyway, I'd really feel so since the day!

Everyone knew the teacher dislike we go in her class without together, I meant go in her class one by one, the first gang and the last gang might taken a long period. That day, I saw her rushed to go in the teacher class. Owing to I knew guys were still at assemble and I knew the teacher dislike we do so, I purposely acted slowly to wait for them and went in the class together. Then, teacher interrogated our monitor again since this wasn't the first time. Fine. I didn't know was her. But, when teacher said, "Who's the assistance?... (She handed up)The assistance should wait for other too, instead of you came earlier, asking me where is others?!"

I was shocked when I heard teacher said so (instead of came in earlier, asking me where is others!). Despite, the teacher was blaming her too, it caused I feeling angry! She caused I feel she was purposely went into the room earlier and asked teacher like that, so that teacher would scold us. Do you remember I wrote she rushed to go in the class? Moreover, she knew teacher's rule too! I feel she was trying to trap.

Second, when I stepped in the class, she talked with him, sitting on my old seat. Fine, I was thinking to move to her old seat. Yet, she stood up, asking he came to sit at my old seat and she was walking back to her old seat. Well, I pretended didn't hear what she talked to him and backed to my old seat as well. I knew I'm bad. But, I wonder what did she meant at that moment?

I barely say, I hate her since that period, just in one period only, she could let me feel she's hateful!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder why guys could very close with her and like her, but I couldn't.

No waiting, no wasting. No pay, no sad. Right?

Hmm.. I don't know what's wrong with myself last night when spoke english, hahaha~ Anyway, shame indeed.

****************************************************

I hope that it will get out from my mind, trying to chase off it all the time, but, I found that it's hard!

It's shown it is truth memories

The song here...

The files here...

The blogs here...

The photos and pictures here...

The memories...

My brain...

My breathe...

My heart beat...

After you wake up from a dream, that's no footprint there, but there have footprint, it is shown, this is true.

Therefore, it can't let me think that it was only a dream and I can forget it easily.

Ahh~

I couldn't forget!

I expect just for something can back as before, it's already can gratify me.

What should I do?

I'm keep trying to forget it.

I barely to say I paid

My spiritual...

My time...

My money... (hmm.. kinda lame to mention this.. hahaha~)

My energy...

My tears...

My heart...

My feelings... (happiness and sadness)

My love...

But I earn nothing, except tears... Somehow, I'd rather to pay too, it's kinda silly, right? If there is no pay, isn't will not have any sadness and hurts there?

And, I'm still very missing and loving you now!! It's never changing! How I hope it will decrease!!!

I think I lose an opportunities... Perhaps, it's good to lose it since it's not suit indeed.

*******************************************

I just know it can edit become purple too... hahaha... as below.

Treasure your wife

I just read a good article. In fact, it's very long, but I cut the final at here.

“和她在一起，我感觉心跳加速，干什么都充满力量。”他显然已有几分醉意。
　　我打断他：“从此以后，我不再是你的黄脸婆，不再是你不用支付工资的用人。我可以节省为你熨衣服配领带的时间，来打扮自己；我可以节省下为你买衣物的钱，给自己挑几件拿的出手的时装；我可以不用绞尽脑汁地搜索鱼的N种做法，不用讨好你的胃，想吃饭我就做，不想做饭，我可以带女儿去吃快餐；我可以不再担心你抽烟伤了肺，喝酒伤了肝；我不再为你洗吐的一塌糊涂的被单；不用在你醉了酒，睡在街边某个角落时，一边哭一边满大街的找；我可以不用再操心你老家的亲戚今天谁做寿，明天谁娶媳妇，不用再每个月给你爸妈寄生活费；不用每年跟你坐半天的车，提着大包小包走十多里山路，只为陪你父母吃顿年夜饭.....是啊，离婚，真是太好了！”说完这些，我泪如泉涌，而他则楞楞的看着我，我一直都表现的很冷静，可是，一点酒精就把我的内心出卖了。三十多岁的女人，谁不在乎自己经营多年的婚姻？ 我又笑起来：“离吧，离了看你得意多久，你十分爱她是吧？她也十分爱你是吧？走到一起后，一起生活几年，看你还会不会见到她就心跳加速，她现在能给你的都是十年前我给过你的，你就折腾去吧！等你折腾够了就会发现，你只是把我们走过的路又重复走了一遍而已。” “你醉了？”他有些紧张的看着我。
　　“我没有天真单纯过吗？我没有年轻美丽过吗？我把你送的一只铜戒指、一本书、一枚书签视若珍宝，冒着严寒为你织手套。我也十分爱过，可是走进婚姻，女人的角色就复杂了，在爱的同时，有了很多责任。他不可能再十分专注的爱一个人，她要从这十分爱中分出一分爱公公婆婆，又要从中分出一分来爱自己的父母，还要从中分一分来爱孩子。十分的爱经过婚姻的洗礼，就只剩下了七分。当另一份十分的爱袭击她的幸福时，她就无以抵挡......”
　　最终，我们没有离婚，他改变了主意。他说我清醒的时候没有醉酒的时候理智，也没有醉酒的时候聪明．．．

I hope you all, especially guys to read it.

Alright, I found that some guys will think as him, have a new lover after marry for few years.

But, I hope that you will treasure your wife, loving her forever since she does something which you think she's controlling you or giving you pressure for life, it's just for you and the home good.

Girl will change to be a mature woman when she is married. She will no longer as before when she is still your girl friend. The character to be a wife is difference with a girl friend. By the way, appreciate and cherish what your girl friend or wife treat you. She is the one who accompany you from zero until you success.

28 June 2010

Hope he good luck. Hahahaha~

Somehow, I feel he'll success to hit his target if he changes something of himself.

I feel like want to tell him, how to work or give him some hints.

But, I think it's not the time yet...

***********************************************

You can say I looked bore and alone today since Theng didn't attend the class today.

But, I didn't feel I'm special not alone when she with me, nothing difference for me on these two situations.

I don't know what's wrong with me today.

The indian guy came in and passed through behind me to shout, "Don't eat in the class!"

Well, it wasn't shocked me indeed since I knew was him. =.-"

Okay, second time, he teased me again, so I wanted to "talk" with him, but I gnawed. hmm.. Luckily, it was just awhile.

Then, when we wanted to back home, pushing the chair so that others can easily pass through, yea, I do it always. He acted fun and acted to run through my seat. =.-"

I didn't know why when my car passed through beside him, he was pointing me, instead of waved with me. Alright, I guess something with me, I waved with him. Gosh! =.-"

I guess he is the first one who I just know this month and could tease me... so lame...

Don't misinterpret, I got no interesting to him, I only feel he's kinda fun and lame.

************************************************

Hmm... Many things shocked me today.

I mean my friends' act or word, causing I didn't know how to answer...

I should think for few minutes to give them the fate one. Hmm...

sighs..miss you

dearest friends

LOL.. I really feel she always do something lame, stupid and waste, but kinda touch and funny.

She just sent a MMS for us, wasting money indeed.

There have 5 pictures, self-love indeed. Hahaha

This is my first time to see her self-take.

Those pictures were funny, well, um, I lazy to find out what she wrote for me since I there are many messages cover it already.

Anyway, it's quite fun and shocked to receive it.

Well, dear friend, I'll very miss you!!! x.x

I feel she's kinda creative.

I'm very appreciate her message for blessing my birthday.

Do you know I never keep a message for more than one month!

你知道你做了什么吗？

你很好意思！过分，乌龟，王八蛋。。。

啊~

啊~你为什么要酱？、

告诉我！说！

闯进了我的世界，让我学会了更多。。变得不一样。。

更成熟。。认识了我自己。。影响，改变了我！

你是爆米花让人‘冷到’（你独特的脾气）

但是甜酥酥D（勇敢的人就能尝到我很勇敢吧？！ 哈）

你是巧克力让人感到窝心，亲切，温暖，吸引！

你是苦茶清甜甘甜的味道让人滋补。。就像有内涵，寄托的感觉

爆米花+巧克力+苦茶=两天后祝你拉屎快乐咯！

生日快乐！酱才能瘦下来嘛。。

~秘方~

爆米花*5kg乘2

巧克力*2kg乘3

苦茶*1kg乘2

18/May(expire)

Happy Birthday!

以阿头〉jerry@你六年朋友的名义献上祝贺！

cool, right? hahahah~ Thank, my dear friend, Huey! hahaha..

I'll miss you and love you.

**************************************************

I'm talking with Jocelyn and Elaine now.

I chat with Jocelyn about one hours more... near two already... hahaha

(2.30a.m. now, still haven't offline!)

These are my another two lovely and dearest friends!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss you all!! I want to study with you all!!

I hope you sit with me at the class, both of you.

Miss you, miss the movement... love you!

*hug

about the class

Ahh~

The class is really crazy, lame, stupid, noise and boring!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every time, if KJ is appearing at the class, the class would become bustling with noise and excitement a thrilling site!

Do you know the reason?

I don't know...

Perhaps, he's too funny and would like to make fun.

Nevertheless, their funs, their jokes aren't involving me since I'll only feel they're making me much more headache while I couldn't solve a question.

Honestly, I can't always take care of Theng! She is a person who quite depends on her friends if her friends are around her. She always hope some helps from me, yea, just me, she can hope. But, I can't help her all the time. It was like when we were doing experiment, sighs... How I could help her? Sometime, I don't know how it works too. I asked her to ask other by herself, she didn't want, fine, but sometime she'd and the one who she'd ask is just Huat. =.-" Other time, I was helping her to ask others.

I found two kinds of girls at the class, one um.. I feel they're hoping to get attraction from other, another one is like Theng and me, don't bother us, please... hahahaha~

Well, our physic teacher, she kinda love the Malay girl, of course, they're same-Malays. Hmm...

Sighs... I really hope, someone can keep talking beside me whenever, even when I was doing my work. Yea, when I'm doing my works, I could still listen to other, it's what I like to do. But, um... well, boring! However, she was with me.

I dislike the school... dislike the class...

I go to school for graduate only... just for me sitting STPM... Ahh~ Meaningless!

How hope I could accept it?

How hope I could love it?

But, somehow, I've tried, can't, it's hard!

Hope I can accept it someday.

Hurt

电影结束了，人也该散场了，各自的离开。。

如果你全心全意的付出得到了别人珍惜，那是值得的。

如果不是，受到伤害的只有那个付出的人。

假如你从没经历过某些事情，你是不可能会理解那种心情。

*********************************************

曾经以为，那都是别人夸大来写的，根本就是不真实，太夸张了。

不过，我发现，事实就是真的那样。

那感觉。。

害怕，恐惧，心痛，伤心，哭泣。。。

情绪失控。。

哭得有泪有头痛，可是依然没办法停止。。

失去自我，甚至在家时会变得像行尸走肉一样。。

在别人面前装得若无其事。。

如果在深夜里哭泣，你不会感觉到黑夜的宁静，你只会听见自己哭声。。

或许，你怕别人听见，而不敢哭出声。。

看见的是全世界都是黑色的。。

而脑海里的回忆一段段的replay了又replay，那使你泪不听使唤的一直流一直流。。

在前几秒哭的时候，你不想告诉任何人，以为自己可以撑得过去。。

到了中间，到了你快要支持不住的时候，快到奔溃的程度的时候。。

做什么？

用电话求救呀！

正常人都会那么做，所以就。。原本不想人别人知道，变成让别人知道。。

（其实，不可以说是“别人”，因为在那个时候你第一个想到的人，就是你心里最好的朋友）

那感觉得真的是很糟糕，如果有这么严重，那才真的是。。

*********************************************************

觉得距离很远，好像一个失败者被抛在后头，跟不上脚步。

发觉其实不了解。。

发觉跟以前不一样。。

发觉难以沟通。。

发觉自己会害怕踩错线。。

The end...good night, other friends.

Envy the lame thing

Finally, I got know it's english name is "The mysteries of love". Hehe~ Love it!

Sighs... Somehow, when I see people get many presents or have many people celebrate his/her birthday, I might envy.

They got many blesses from family and friends. Furthermore, I'd envy them since there are so many people remember their birthday.

Sighs... My birthday would during exam every year and so just "nobody" will remember me, sighs.

I thought this year wasn't during exam and it might had a nice day. Yet, it proved, it wasn't totally was a nice day for me, it was just better than before 30 percent since my younger brother and sister bought a cake to celebrate with me. Thanks.

You know what? My sister's phone was ringing the whole day last night. =.-"

I thought it's easy

Somehow the movie "谈情说案" was causing I cried while the main character cried.

Candidly, I watch this movie with my sisters every night. There is impossible they didn't know I cried, right? But, they didn't know indeed since I was making fun with them and I got a little flu.

I was naive to think everything is easy. Yet, I know I was wrong.

If I know it earlier, I won't be able like this today.

How mock? When I recalled back something, I couldn't believe that was me!

I couldn't forgive the way I did last time, sighs.

There are nothing can be changed after it passed.

I just understand it's really very hard.

The most terrible movie in this world

Mei didn't go today, but we were assembling at her house since Huey wanted to take something from her.

"A calling from Wee..." Honestly, I was shocked when saw it, and then he told me that he was just near us! I thought he was just joking to us, but when I turned to behind, his car was there!! =.-"

For saving time, Chin and I went to Jocelyn's house to fetch her first. After that, we just got know we need to wait for Foo! Ahh~ We were waiting for him in front of Kwang Hwa for 50 minutes! It was a hot day, okay?

Well, we reached Jusco at 1.30p.m, we hadn't time to get our lunch anymore. However, all of us didn't get lunch yet. Then, we bought nine tickets for ToyStory 3 and it'd started at 2p.m.

Suddenly, Huey said she felt want to vomit and faint, and then she straight away faint on floor like this!! It was shocked all of us!!! Foo, Alex and Jocelyn were uprear here. After that, Alex, Jocelyn and I followed her to toilet since she said she wanted to vomit.

We were really very fear!! Alex asked me to pass the tickets for other friends since the movie was shown, but when I backed there, they weren't there, calling them many times. Yet, none of them received the calls!

While, Alex and I on the way to buy bread for her, Foo said they bought breads already. Fine, we backed to toilet there to wait for them. Despite, we tried to ask how she felt, she didn't answer us at all. She only said she wanted to sleep in the cinema.

Well, the cinema guy blocked us, no point, we took the breads what. Therefore, Jocelyn and I uprear her to a seat at outside and we asked other friends went into watch the movie. Jocelyn suggested to drive her back home and I drove!!

Oh dear, why the car couldn't start? Originally, was she didn't push the gear on P, but on D and her hand break was downward! =.-" zzz...

I was very nervous since she faint and I was driving her car from BM back to Butterworth!

Suddenly, I blue Vious was shocked me since it was too near my right hand side and we almost collided. So, as normal reaction was escape it to left side. Unfortunately, I collided with a motor! Gosh... Luckily, it was just collided! I feel sorry to them! But, the guy who on the motor used a spammer to point on me, it was really very terrible!

This was my first time to have accidence. I never had accidence by motor or car. It was horrible indeed.

Then, we reached her house, having breads and milo. She said she was fine. Beside this, Chin said her cars couldn't fetch so many people, she asked me how! No choice, I drove Jocelyn and Huey backed to Jusco again! The journey to come and back, it was totally wasting my time. 4.30p.m, met them and sat down to on my skype to chat with Elaine.

I'm sorry Elaine, I let you waited so long time and need CW to SMS me about this.

There was near 5p.m when the finished their "lunch". Unfortunately, I didn't as I was rush to back home to meet with my family. In fact, I should be home at 5p.m.! After that, they wanted to buy some books, I hadn't choice to be with them.

Hence, I called my family and they called me too to ask me hurry back home. Ahh~ So sorry, I backed home at 6.10p.m. Sighs...

Then, I got my dinner with my family.

I wasted RM10 for the movie ticket and I did a horrible show just now!

Today list-Huey, Jocelyn, Theng, Cheng, Alex, Foo and Wee.

I feel today is really terrible and frightening!! I still afraid of the her faint and my accidence!

Good night, friends.

I'm tire to alive

Suddenly, feeling like don't want to alive, I'm breathless!

I'm alike in a hell these days!!

It's seem like the whole body get sick with non-stop!

I got sore throat, and the flu.

Somehow, I feel heart was unwell.

Then, I feel like dying today and I still have something need to do afterward, I've not time to do it.

How? I feel like many things come non-stop to kill me!!!

I really breathless... I rest and rest these days, except going for tuition I didn't touch my study things. Alright, my homework I done earlier, so nothing to be worried. However, I really hope and I want to study, my spirit doesn't allow me.

I'm tire to alive in this world.

I hate myself!!!

What a dying day... kill me better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh~~~

It's killing me indeed!!!!!!!

I thought I was fine.

But, as long as I feel I seem like want to vomit out the milk which I drank in the morning!

By the way, I was seriously pain, it was like when I was primary school, year 6!!!!!!!

It's totally killing me!!!!

I pain until I couldn't talk anymore!!!!!

Coincidently, my mum came in my room, she asked, "You... again?"

She looked at me and my face was seriously became "white".

Hurry went to clinic to save my life!!!!!!!

The doctor said actually their clinic was on recess time, but got one patient, he accidence. Hence, they came to opened the clinic earlier 30min.

Honestly, I was dying there...

The doctor gave me liquid medicine. I was almost faint, LIQUID MEDICINE!!!!!

It was bitter and... hateful!!!

Finally, I got know that medicine is used to inject, but I almost dying, so she gave me drank it.

I got my nap... Now, feeling better, but I still feel like don't know where has a little unwell.

Luckily, she wasn't injecting, otherwise, I die earlier.

I thought, "God, why don't you just kill me???"

*I did a mistake.. sighss.... gonna bother my dad again, I think. Sighs.. He must will complain again...

Chemistry

Do you know what my sister told me just now? It caused I wanna faint!!!!!!!!!!!!

She said, "The questions on your experiment's report have no answers!! My friend (A professor), he can't do that question and it's incomplete data, so there are no answers one. By the way, he asked many other professors to solve it too; they all gave the same answer-incomplete data, so no answers! Sighs.. They still say this question was written on year 2006 until now, but the editor still doesn't want to change the question, however, it's incomplete. Those professors said there had a student asked a professor about this question at net before, the professor said incomplete, can't do it."

OMG... Gonna faint.

Well, I didn't tell my sister about the questions was come out on which year also.

I think... I brought trouble to those professors... ha

hahhahaa... xD

Chemistry STPM experiment's report, the first report already can't get the answers. Well, the report we all passed up already, I copied from other since I didn't know how to solve it too, I'm not genius as the editor.

It mean the lower six students who is science steam one at the whole Malaysia get no answers for it. =.-"

*********************************************

Everyone knows the certificates of Matri aren't been accepted on the other country, right? There only can let you go in local U easier.

Beside this, we all always think they study one year only and we need to study one and half year, so we'll surely study much more than them, right?

But, I could tell, they study much more than us if you really see their Chemistry, other subjects I don't know, I only know we skip many difficult parts in almost every chapters!

Despite, they study more, but their study is "touch and go", they aren't so details. For details part, we're better than them a little, yea, just a little only. Alright, they study the things which we needn't to study, sighs..

How come? I thought they haven't standard one....

I don't know which one is better now since both have difference benefits and disadvantages too.

After study this... I became as below...

Sighs... I dislike Chemistry!!! hahahaa... xD

This was about last week before I sick.

[I guess this is first time I talk about subject at here.]

who has mask? hahaha

I think it might be at last year.

A friend who is changing a lot, he wasn't the one who I knew at Form 3. I thought he must have something like scar of life. He became hard to believe other and he told, "To be an evil is better than to be an angel." He said, "You're too great to think like that, but I can't."

[I never think that I'm friendly, kind or even great. I only play my own personality, always like this.]

At present, I most curious is how he becomes back himself, the one who I knew before. But, he's still has something like shoulder strap to protect himself.

Nowadays, I just understand why to be an evil is better than to be an angel.

Honestly, I don't know the hell thing like trap people, but I'm not a good person too. I'm not friendly since I won't smile or maybe my smile is fake to others and I'm not talkative one.

Alright, someone said, "However, you're my friend, I'll be careful you too." LOL. Just do it. Human can change anytime, nobody can know when he/she changes. Perhaps, someday I'll become an evil.

[If he told me these words before this, I'll not say like that, I mean to agree he should be careful me, I won't say that.]

There are many things, we can't see it through the face only.

Well, sighs... That two friends who always with me, sighs.. they're not with me now...

The only one who I can trust.

The only one who will help me say word when everyone dislike me.

How would they know? Umm..

I'm curious how would they know me??

Last few week ago, my eldest sister said what the time I take my bath is... =.-" my bathing time isn't constant every day, how could she knows since she doesn't live with us right now too?

Well, my 2nd sister said her friends always like ask her to organize or invite other to go such like gathering matter. I got a little bit shocked as I never tell them about this what, how she knows I always pick up the job?

My younger sister asked, "Mum, why you cook balsam pear? I think nobody will eat it what." Mum answered, "Who say nobody will eat it? Your dad, mum and 4th sister will eat it."

I thought, "Huh? How she knows I'll eat it? I didn't eat it last time, but just try to accept it these years."

It's really weird because I've many things I won't tell my family, but they'd know too. zzz...

Proving solutions

There is so great.. since they rather to help..

Somehow, a Malay who has beard as "shark" at there, he talked to us and helped us!

Cool.. thanks.. Perhaps, we looked helpless, so he asked us.. well.. thanks.. and the young guy too, haha.. the kind person is always handsome... lol... Actually, no need translate what the Malay said, I could understand too...

Well.. the most great was.. I also met two kind people at the.. otherwise I failure!!!!!!!

Anyway, thanks a lot. ^^

**************************************************

Year 2010..

I guess the life challenges are keep coming on me since Jan until today!

Family..

Friends...

and others...

The problems cause I change my mind on many things....

Like I thought I treat people well, they might treat me well too...

Beside this, there isn't loyal ...

my dad's friend betrayed him before, a friend who he knew and trust 20 years!

But, he rather hided him back, however, he caused my dad almost lost the job.

Well... people will change.. no matter how kind and how good he/she is..

By the way, honestly, I quite hate Malay..I thought they all very bad, none of them are kind.

A malay killed my grandpa.

sighs.. don't know.. but, I just don't like them..

Yet... I met three kind Malay today... hehe..one is the beard.. xD

Well.. I thought someday they'll be fine ..

but.. everything is becoming worst and only one word can say, "IMPOSSIBLE"...

Yea.. impossible ...

Sometime.. I thought the thing might be hopeless.... but it still can be worked at the final when I thought it's hopeless.... sighsssss...

And... there are many changes... all are 360 degree changes..sighs...

Family... friends.. and other things too...

beside this, "they" (problems) really prove many things for me to see and to learn...

don't know... I should "adjust" my mind.. hahaha

*Nose is bleeding... Ahh~ flu.. and sore throat.

Reality is horrible

I found that Chinese have many bad habits and attitudes.

Exp, they like to be late. See, the invitation card write 7.30o.m, but do you think they will start on time? They always late 30min, I mean those people who was been invited.

Another point. Can't you see Malaysia Chinese are selfish? They're not unite at all...see, our ministers... Fight each other.. don't you think it's lame? Huh? zzz... Live in same country and it's "other" country, okay? Isn't want we die faster?

Well... Chinese are selfish.. Especially GIRLS. You don't believe? LOL.. how mock.. I'm a girl too.

York till now, the research result is girls are selfish than guys. It was proved by many family's friends and my friends too.

*************************************************

I thought how I treat people, they might use the same way to treat me back.

Hence，I try to help and think of other when they're needed.

But, this year since the school start.. I saw something... It let me know girls are selfish...

Some of them will only help those who they close, some will help those they want to flatter and or just help guys... lol.. hahaa...

Now.. this is the second time... it's totally serious.. because the first time was I obverse the case, it wasn't involve me, but it already cause I know them.

While this second time, it's totally... cause I feel upset and disappointed!!!!!!!

Perhaps, it was my own fault.. right? Since I haven't the three conditions.. not a good friend with you.. not a person who you can earn advantages from.. and of course, I'm not boy..

lol...

Curious

As usual, when she was bored she'd go around to search for something interesting, passing through room by room, she was coming at the outside of a "Breathing Room". What caused she felt curious?

She saw a little boy with her mum and a doctor. The little boy smelled the gas since he had asthma, her mum looked worried. Somehow, she felt pity on him. Perhaps, it was due to she had asthma too, but her situation wasn't as worst as him. A worried face was shown on her mum's face; this was what she couldn't forget.

She hoped to know who the boy is. By the way, a sense told her, she'll meet him someday. She left.

Lack of security

A girl who feels lack of security on everything.

She's easily get jealous and fear of something while with her family and friends.

She'd feel her friends are no longer treating her as friend when their words have become cold. She afraid to lose them. She knows it's just a stupid thinking and it's not true. She can't believe in somebody else who she only knows in a short period, always guard against them to avoid get hurts.

Despite, she hopes she can always live in peace； it'll not always be true.

Every short time to live in peace, she might start to scare of something bad may could happen to destroy her peaceful.

And, it was happening.

Yeah, it's quite silly to think so, but she's still can't get any security from reality. She's no longer to be innocence when facing someone who's new for her. Living in a life which lack of security and fear, how could she avoid?

Day of reduce @33IM@

Ate breads, Sang K, Watched Prince of Persia, Bought books...

List-Ley, Mei, Huey, Theng, Cheng, Chin and me.

Somehow Theng wore very "close" today, a jacket with a long jean!!!

I seem like never see her wear a long jean before.

Isn't she wants to exchange character with me??? hahahahahah~ xD

Foo and Phei looked for us to talk, in the KTV room. ^.-

Unfortunately, the waitress found it. x.x

She said our room had too many people than before, so need to pay more or the extra one can't stay more than 15 minutes.

Therefore, they had to go.

Nevertheless, our room still got one more extra people! We booked 6 peoples' room, but there were 7 people in the room!

So, Mei asked Ley to hide at beside the "TV". =.-" It caused me laughed, but I had to do as normal. LOL... hahahaha~

We went to Popular for buying some books and staffs. There were so coincident, we met Neng Han and his girl friend. [Only Hihi... Bye bye...] hhahahahhaaa~ xD

Having our dinner together at Chak Leng Pak. Cheng kept saying Theng's hand is big... Then, Theng said mine one too and how come my hands become so big? Stimulated Me!!! I said, "Perhaps, I become fat already." Si Huey mocked, "You're not become fat, but you was fat since last time! hahahaha~ ("不要刺激我！").. but.. now become thinner a little already." *Weep... *Weep... They said me like this!!!!! *Weep

You lame... don't know what's the meaning of lame, yet keep scolding it. =.-" She changes style, from shit to lame now... LOL... hahahah~ Blek~!

@33IM@

Missing them so much, I hope they miss me too. xD

It's great since I could see them tomorrow and hang out with them. ^.-

Every day at the class, I do my homework alone, for sure; I'd try to find topics to talk with whom beside me at labs or classroom.

Nevertheless, I do my work quietly as well commonly. What were running around my mind are my lovely dear friends and the great memories!!

I expect a good friend can talk with me at the class... Boring days...

I'm sorry that if I haven't time to talk with you... especially Jocelyn and Jackson. Hehe~ xD

I miss you all indeed, but ... sometime too focus on my work until forget you... ahhahaahaa~

Just kidding.. I have thought about you all, but I can't stop my work when I really very concentrate...

Sister-Elaine, miss you too... x.x wish you everything fine there ... good luck for your exam!!! +oil ... hehe~

Denial

Sighs... I'll faint for "it"! Gosh~!

Perhaps, I saw something which I shouldn't see.

Alright...

I expect I can alike her, can handle this kind of thing as well.

Beside this, I hope a serious one, instead of place it on me or I'm other's substitute! !

Please, I only want an understanding one and really know what's xxxe, OKAY??

I beg you don't force me say something bad for you someday, I don't want to be a bad person.

Please, forget about it since you don't know what's xxxe!!

You haven't the condition to "it"!!

Deep.. xD

别说我掩饰得不好，

我已经很努力的不谈了，逃避了。

甚至不理会。

我觉得很自然啊，那里怪了？

不懂的人是看不出来的，不是吗？　

我也不知道自己为什么会感觉受不了了，

然后又被你发现了。

我是真的不想要。。。

忙？

不忙的时候要做什么？无聊得很！

从那个时候起就一直让自己忙着这个忙着那个的。。

我并没有讨厌，羡慕甚至嫉妒任何人。

可是，不懂为什么每当有人提起那个字眼，我的眼神就开始放空了。

不看。。不听。。不说。。

*************************************************

I just saw one picture!

It's totally out of my mind!!

Gosh~

OMG!

Gonna faint...

I thought it should be...

I thought it might be...

I thought...

7 Jun

I think nothing happen between us.

We didn't debate, joke or quarrel with each other.

It changed since long time ago, I told you.

In this situation, should I apologize or appreciate?

I won't do both of these.

Non of us rather to step out, hence it might lost.

************************************************

Someone took wedding invitation card for us just now.

Honestly, I don't know them.

I only know they're my far relative, one is CL girl, I don't know her, but I saw her before, she was same tuition with me before.

So far I know two girls who same age as me were CL students and one was same age with my brother, she's CL girl too. [My far relative. They're either my great uncle or great aunties' grandchildren. So, far... Well, no interesting to know them.]

I think the world is small enough, the girl who come just now she lives at Sg.Dua and same garden as Yang. @.@

The one who marry is the girl's eldest sister, don't misinterpret it.

******************************************

Sleep.. sleep.. sleep..

hahahaha~

I could wake up late during holiday.. but, nothing should be excited since every morning 7a.m, she'll make noise.

Then, 8a.m or 9a.m they will chat very louder again. Can I sleep well everyday, sighs.

I think the surrounding change me...

I busy lately, sorry.

If you want to chat with me, you should find a right time.

如果我不在乎你

如果我不在乎妳 我不会在为你笑

如果我不在乎妳 我不会变得这么脆弱

如果我不在乎妳 我不会在意你做的每件事

如果我不在乎妳 我不会静静的想着你发呆

如果我不在乎妳 我不会记住你说的每句话

如果我不在乎妳 我不会要求你这样那样

如果我不在乎妳 我不会为你心痛

如果我不在乎妳 我不会把事情问出个究竟

如果我不在乎妳 我不会总想着听到你的声音哪怕只是一句

如果我不在乎妳 我不会自己一人珍惜与你在一起的时刻，哪怕你是无所谓的

如果我不在乎妳 我不会总是不由自主的想起你

如果我不在乎妳 我不会每天都那么坚持着我的坚持

如果我不在乎妳 我不会总想着我们的语言傻傻的发笑

如果我不在乎妳 我不会这么轻易的让痛苦折磨自己

如果我不在乎你 我不会为了无关重要的小细节跟你争执

如果我不在乎妳 我不会经常的胡思乱想让自己心痛

如果我不在乎妳 我不会在我最软弱的时候，真的支持不住地时候，对你说：“我累了，我很不开心……”因为那时候的我，真的需要你的关心；

如果我不在乎你 我不会把我所有的事情都告诉你，哪怕是让你觉得枯燥无味，鸡毛蒜皮的小事，我不会把所有的秘密都告诉你，哪怕是最珍贵或是最不堪回首的往事

如果我不在乎你 我不会再次写下长篇大论的文字，甚至让你觉得是废话连篇

当我在乎你的时候 你却不在乎我，我将会消失于你的世界，而在我的世界里，也没有可以容纳你的位置

当我在乎你的时候 而你却不在乎我，我不怪你

引用爱情中的一句话；失恋根本不需要难过，真正难过的是他，因为你失去的是一个不爱你的人，而他失去的却是一个爱她的人。

同样，我失去的只是一个不在乎我的人，或者说我从来都没有失去过，因为你从来不曾在乎我，而你失去的却是我对你真真正正的关心和在乎。



每天 即使不会快乐，但至少不会总是难过。

Copy right from Crystal.

与其说如果我不在乎你，不如说如果我不爱你，傻的。

I feel it's a nice blog, so I share with you here.