lost

Why I wanna so care about it?
Sighs...

Emo~

I have been ignored by the friends and juniors here is not the first day thing, but I was sad indeed today.
Sighs...
I'm the secretary, she is the secretary also.
how come the junior just ignore me, and ask me to excuse today. =.-"
I already try to don't mind the other MT & commitee which are our batch friends to close with her, & my another two friends who are same bureau with me.
I'm not as active & talkative as them. I knew. fine.
My president said before," she looks strict, I don't want kacau her la. I want Yen~~ Yen~"   =.-"
Okay, Is fine. Is really fine. I knew my problems.
I'm not as cute as her.

Then, back to four of us, yea, four of us are close. But, I'm the one who keep let them ignore.
Leyi for first will care Yen first, Sandy for first will care Leyi then Yen.
Then me?

She said, "you are the one who know how to take care ownself the most, so I never worry you."
Yea, I tried to protect myself to don't get hurts, but doesn't mean I'm strong.
They sad, they will 哄 among them, then me?
Take picture... hmm.. What I see the picture she took is just both of them, then me?
When there is a picture which need with members & 合照 just will remember to call me.
No wonder my pictures are the lesser. LOL.

Am I too serious? Am I too strict? Isn't my face problem?? I look strict?
I can't played & joked? or they don't know my limit? &they afraid to step on my limit?

I knew I'm not active & delight & good smiling face as them.
& I also don't like to say hi to other.

That are my problems...  I'm trying to be active, trying to hide the unhappy in front of them already.

Erm.. i should change myself maybe.

bad job!

I'm a serious person, a very serious ones. So, please don't let me be a leader, otherwise, people will feel stress & feel I'm strict when they're working with me.

I have just ended a chinese culture night in my uni. It is a big carnival, & this was not only inviting other uni students & our own uni students, but also the resident there. I take it very serious at the previous sem when I was just a multimedia bureau's member. I was the one who controlled the videos & slide to present on the projector while my partner was Yi fan (yes, our secondary school ones). I did some mistakes during the event, I knew it & I was blaming myself for few days. It was just the mistake like pressing too fast for the emcee's speech (translate ones).

This sem, I was the one who guild the juniors for the projectors, playing the videos & slides. Did I not teaching well or we are not too serious enough? Or we never tell them that the importance of this event? The juniors who I handle, they made some serious mistakes. Sighs.. I wanted to scold them, but when I see they were panic after they realise the mistakes. Besides, I taught them & kept repeating the flow & ways many many times for the whole day, but why I still see they were doing wrong & kelam-kabut to find the videos' folder? sighs!!

Honestly, seriously, I'm not satisfy for the juniors' present this year, no matter under me or my friends!! How come the job we take it seriously for every sem, but they treat it as a game? Moreover, we did smaller than this sem at the previous sem, but we still panic & tried to perform well all the things. Both same as first try to the projector, why they ?? Between, this sem we have technicians beside to help them, but we controlled all last sem & at least we do better. Sighs....

When the attitude is not there, you can't do anything well.

difficult

I dislike this feeling seriously!!

Sighs...

Everytime, I come back home, it let me feel good for just a few days until he back, until my turn to back!!
I don't know how to describe the feelings I have, but then it is totally sad and not willing to leave here.
Although, I have accepted the things at Uni and I could feel happy when meet my friends there.
Somehow, I still will have this kind of feeling before I leave here, why? I don't want to leave or can I stay at here to complete my studying life?

Complicated.

No matter how much I love there, I'm still loving my hometown the most. >.<

Well, I'm independence at there, but not here.
Sometime, I don't know which is a real one? The character which I play at there? or here? or both?
I feel that one at there, I'm so careful to treat them, I'd mind what they think of me and also bully me.
I just try avoid the argument occurs, I just try to close my heart.
But at here, my gang, I won't worry about it, I should say that I never worry about it.
I'm not hiding anything since I don't afraid at all.

Sighs.
How many time I will have this kind of feelings again?
twice per sem? or more than that?
that's the reason why I don't like to back home, when I'm at home, I will not want to back there...

*Anyway, I'll try to be a better one.
I'll try to change to be a better one. ^^

free day

University life? Perhaps, the eldest people would say, "University life would be the best one in your life."
I think so... But, what make it become the best? Huh? We should have a statement to support it, right?

During this time, you would have many holidays, hmm... At the same time, you have a little money. Between, since you're no longer a small little girls or boys, your parents would permit you. Then, you would go travel with one gang of friends.
Seriously, in hostel, in class, except we chit-chat and share, nothing would be fun than we could act crazy outside this environment.

Travelling is one of my dream, I'll not give up the chance to go, in case there some reasons. hehhe~

Well, perhaps, we are no longer a little girls, mature due to seeing little bad side of the social and people. So, when I'm in uni, I will not as nature as with the gang at hometown. I see everyone of us, being careful all the time even a speech, so that we will not hurt or offend each other. We are scaring of the relationship between each other will be broken easily... @@
We always put one thing in our heart, that is... we have still four years to go, facing each other everyday in this uni and maybe we gonna live together with this gang in the coming years. How can we offend? hmm....

I'm still always be myself at there, hahaha.. Many of them had been seen my terrible stubborn temp.. hahhaha...

I'm still think of ... at hometown is better...

Alright, now count down, I'm still have 3 years to go, may god bless me.. >.<
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These days, I see many of friends post their travel photos, hahhaa... I think this what we spend our holidays ba...

The time pass by, environment changed, people changed...
Heart changed???

however, getting lesser to contract, heart didn't change...

my surprising day

This was my first time.. It will be my great memory night with them ytd..my 21st birthday celebration!!I'm excited n surprised for all that...u guys, every year plan the birthday celebration with me,this time is the most touch n awesome birthday celebrity ever..haha...I don't know what to say right now..as u guys said,I didn't hv presents, but surprising this year!!!

Never know that u guys could hide in my house very well har!!haha..pakat with my family n bf..@@ but I feel great because I get this kind of surprised which I was admired..this feeling is really the best ever!!

I feel great n extremely happy that I met u guys n u guys will be my gang for my whole life,I promised!!even if we less contact, in my heart,I'm still loving u guys so so so much!! Can't deny that times fly, we met nearly 9 years, some of u are even more than that..seriously,I cant accept 20 in my year n now even 21, sighs,force to accept this reality..hahaha..

My dears,I'll cherish n appreciate all the things u guys made n ur hearts!!really!! We were happy n crazy together before,we were crying n sad together before..we are young before!!hahaha..

I feel the friendship with u guys, at least we were not feeling trouble n hard to get, but still we do love each other so much..I guess majority of us feel hard when go in college or uni to get new great friendship lik this,I think yes...but still nvm,I hv u guys all awhile with me...

I really feel sorry that sometimes I put the bslancing to other plc,instead of u guys,but u guys still hv the heart to me..


Really thank you that u keep me warm all the time..love u,muackss!!

21st?

Well, it's just nothing for me on my day.. Instead, I was irritated with the dinner for for celebrating the spring festival event ended as well.. The organizer was created such a lame & no manner game..whatever la..

My friends here did celebrate with me with just small celebration, just a few buddy..perhaps, they knew that I don't like too many ppl...erm,because as they always do for celebrating birthday with friends would call whole course ppl come..

Today, is my another two coursemates birthday, both of them born on the same date, as we did, we called everyone too..wish them happy birthday n happy 520..

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There are too many things happens lately..sighs..perhaps,I didn't know how to handle a friendship or I have bad-tempered...

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Well, you are not my sisters,so you have no right to take anything of mine without informed & ask...