1 dec 2014

I’m just bored, but I don’t know why I could have time to feeling bored actually. Issh~ Perhaps, it supposed to be say as moodiness. From the half sem till now, every week has a test and mountains of projects, reports and assignments. I wish to have few more days rest, yet there is no. Whatever. After this the final will be coming soon, and then this sem end, my 3^rd year 1^st sem will be ended so.

These days, I just miss my home deeply. About a month I haven’t been home. Well, people will never understand the feelings that you are not stepping into own house when you are passing by it. Perhaps, nobody ever care for it, or they think that I can accept this feeling.

I just don’t like people ignore me seriously. However, I have tried to join in. Perhaps, people still think that I’m not. But, I found out that maybe sometime is really due to the “face problem”. Yea, I’m not cute, and I’ll never be cute also. That’s not me. Yea, I’m not attractive… No matter how hard I tried.

You will never understand that the feeling when you're standing in front of them who you consider as close friends, but they ignore you. They chat their topics with small voice just enough for hear with very close. They said let's take picture without calling your name, or just say that please help both of us to take picture, and ignore you.
Well, I want to say that, what you guys treat me? as friend? as mirror? or nothing? or just good enough for helping you all to reducing costs?

Not to help? it's alright. I'll never force a person who will not willing to help me. Reject my request? it's fine, I'll never force you to accept too. I'll never force anyone to do what they don't like to do for me. 

Sighs… just ignore as you all like and as usual. Whatever. I’m not belonging to here. I’ll back to my hometown and live at thereafter graduate. There have the friends who will listen to me, care for me, care about my feelings. A truth one.