I just feel unhappy AGAIN!!

I just know that Elaine wants to go Korea for educations and five years she'll stay there.. Honestly, I feel want to cry and maybe I'd cry.

I don't know what should I say right now and I understand why she late to tell us this new. So, I'm not gonna blame her. She'll leave at the end of March.

I know I'll very very miss her... she is one of my best friend too. Eh..

Huey'd write the information of farewell party at her facebook's wall. I write here again.

This is the farewell party for who will go NS soon and for Elaine.

Date : haven't decide yet, so you guys choose. we will decide with 少數服從多數

Time ： about evening and night

Location : Sunway Canival's KTV.

Who want to go please give cooperation and tell the date which you can to Huey's facebook. Thanks

Down!

Somehow, I feel have something depress on my heart now. It's complicated feelings. It is due to I saw somethings and the second reason is....

Erm... Jess asked for sending the school life pictures or daily pictures. Hence, I opened back "Friends" (Name of the folder), I saw there got still many folders, yeah, some travels one, some school life one and some parties. I'd open it one by one, looking at those pictures one by one, I feel there was fun and sad... the memories all came out from my mind!

Totally 25 folders, maybe should be more than that as I have some pictures at other friends there.

And, I know I can't return back anything.

Friends, I really miss you all and I miss our school life also.

However, I felt hard during school life, at least we were together.

I know how to go back, but now I lost the key to open the door!!

Although, I know the way to back, I can't open the door also.

My mind full of memories, no matter it is sweet or sad.

Sighs...

Trip to Genting Highland

It is a long story, so I try to make it shorter. I'm tire now actually, but after touch this PC, my spiritual is backed.

First day(初九）, we were woke up at early morning to prepare for our journey. Well, we were too tire since all of us need to pray until about 2a.m. So, I tried to sleep in the car, yet I couldn't. Oh ya, my family brought what to go, do you know? Sighs, brought watermelon, fruits, cookies, cakes, kuih and many, yoy, more than go to "ye can". On the way went out the Genting, I felt nausea, sighs, I always like this, taking a pill from mum.

We did only checked in hotel and shopped at there as all of us were tired. Then, we went to play Ding Ding, I didn't play. My dad is great, he played the game which need many energy, it test your enegry one, whose highest get yellow tickets to change matter. My dad one ran out to 97 max more than brother in law, haha~ But, I saw a guy who about same age as us, he is great, ran out to 99!! I got a nice sleep, hehe.

There were many relatives went. Erm, uncle went with his friends, brother in law's brother went with his family by bus and brother in law's friends also. Alright, eldest sister, brother in law and their two sons with them one room, then my parents and brother one room, hehe, my sisters, niece and I one room. The adults went to casino after kids slept, and we helped to take care them in hotel.

***********************************************************

Second day, we woke up early to since, it was the time to play. I was extremely full since I ate twice time breakfast!!! Sighs. No choice, my family is like this, they would like to force me to eat. Zzz... We had our tickets to play outdoor games, we usually played the kids' game with those kids. I hadn't mood to play because I played it last two month ago and those kids would cry if we didn't bring belong them to play the challenge games. Therefore, I'd follow my eldest sister to help her took care those kids, hehe. Um, my second sister treated us ate Zinger Burger, but Genting KFC, yuck, very oily!

We went to saw Haunter House, 3D, gosh, so scary!! I always closed my eyes, lol!! Then, sisters went to play brumper car adult one, well, my niece and nephew played kids', so I looked at those kids to play at outside. Um, I'll nausea, so I didn't play it. My younger sister lost mum's handphone at there, sighs, couldn't find it.

Got a woman seem like came from Iraq, she is pregnant, I guess she is very like kids, so she kept looking at my niece and nephew while at Marry Brown. We had talk with her, hehe~ and she took the pictures of both of them.

My parents went to casino, didn't follow us to theme park. I had to take care baby in my eldest sister's room when they went to casino at midnight. I was too tired, so I slept in her room until she came back and woke me up. I was like dreaming while walking back to my room, lol, got one guy looked at me, haha~ because my hair was messy, haha~ so "xia sui" xD. Luckily, I don't know him one.

************************************************

3rd day, we had to go back this day. As yesterday I had twice time breakfast again, gosh, surely becomes fat!! We went to report since lose the handphone, sighs, but I guess we couldn't find it already. AFter that we checked out.

Younger sister, niece and nephew brought new tickets to play the brumper car. Um, second sister didn't buy the new, but she followed to play also. As yesterday again, there was just left me to look at those kids played it, I saw some of the kids fought at there, sighs, their parents ran in to bring them out, sighs. Luckily, there weren't my niece and nephew to fought.

We started out journey to back home at 2.00pm. We followed the road sign, it brought us to use the old road of Ipoh, gosh, it was further!!! We should use the old road of Genting Highland!! I was very sleepy and nausea in car, sighs. Wasting a lot of time on road, we didn't eat after the breakfast at 10.00a.m and started our journey until 5.00pm just found a rest station which got sold foods! I was assistance for my brother in law while on the way because his business so busy and Ｉ need to help to record down his work, sighs... and, his handphone rang always! I saw him like that I thought about last time when I was kid, we whole family traveled, my dad alike him also, dad's handphone rang always!

Then, we went to Tambum ate sea foods just backed home. There got one aunt which very old she stopped our cars and asked us to park her land, yoy, she seem couldn't walk well also, so dangerous to act so! Alright, we pity her, so we parked her land and paid her. Actually, park at other place, needn't to pay money anymore.

Next, back home. Good night and wish you all good luck in the test. I just found that now is 25 Feb, hehe~

年初九

I took a bath and had my dinner, after that prepared for praying. I was very sleepy to look at cousins played the fireworks. Finally, I sat on chair, sleeping, "Bomb~", what's the hell? I wanted to sleep for awhile, stopped to play fireworks for awhile, can? Just for awhile! Sighs, my eyes were almost closing! It's time to pray, a hot praying, sighs, I sweated a lot since we didn't turn on the fan and so the whole living room got smoke. As usual, my family did burnt the "red fireworks" and beauty flowers fireworks, I didn't know what it call, hehe~ Praying, burning ...sighs.. these steps were repeating many times again and again. I took bath and had my supper at the final. Gonna sleep.

年初八

Finally, I could wake up late today. Yet, I was still earlier than my siblings, so I had the chance to play PC. I forgot to have my breakfast, well, mum backed, she asked me to temple "gai tai sui". Hmm... again, I was busy until I forgot ask for breakfast. On the way backed home, I received a call.

Sighs. No points, we had to change our time earlier to go KJ's house. Hence, I quickly bath, mum still didn't cook the foods. Yet, I hadn't no choice, I went out without eating any things since morning until 1.30pm. I got some cookies from Ley, then hehe~ I asked KJ to treat me chicken rice. xD. We went his house to chat and gamble, this time I did, but we didn't play money one.

We left to go Huat's house, we had our plan at his house, but I feel it's not success now. Sighs. For a while, we'd go Tsu wei's house, hehe, just drank some water, I was full. We wanted to go Hz's house, reaching there found that nobody at home. We went to Wee's house after that. We gambled again without money, but ate the cookies and drew our hands with marker pens. >.<

Finally, I could see Bobo, hehe and Dudu too. For me, I would like Bobo, I wish to touch it, but it would "jilat" me at first before I touched it, x.x

We gonna pray later..

sighs, guys, maybe 3 days after I just can blogging already, I have to go Genting at tomorrow morning.

Days-12

It was the last, I told myself.

I read synopsis of a novel, " Everyone who pass through your life would playing a main character."

People might think I'm close with someone, the real is we're never close to each other. Yet, the rumors are getting serious, mad indeed.

You thought there would have how many Gwee Wan Theng?? I haven't these abilities to close with so many guys. Besides, I haven't so much money to always SMS.

Sighs.. Before you guys create a rumor, can you think about the "main characters"?? You maybe will cause them would never are friends. However, this kind of situation is never happened on me, it is the true. As you're my friends, I couldn't say anything and even scold you, but hope you could understand all of that.

A strange friend, you will be a stranger soon, I guess, it was what you hope.

Every things can't back to before, no more!! We change.

How many then it would be stopped? How long I need to take it?

Girls are always have many questions?

大年初七

Sighs I had to wake up early today since I had pretest of car!! Gosh, I was so scare of parking, but then I could do it well, hehe~ Unbelievable. Anyway, those sirs didn't look at us and simply gave everyone of us passed.

Then, I was extremely tire and wanted to sleep while finished the pretest. Um, uncle fetched me back to Raja Uda office because my motor was there, on the way, he talked with me. Honestly, I wanted to sleep already. >.<

I took my nap until 7pm, gosh, gathering!!! I quickly walked out my room and looked for my second sister, finding that she went out with eldest sister to buy mihun. x.x I thought they would back to fetch me went, but they didn't, they went themselves!! x.x sadly, they asked me to wait mum backed to fetch me went. What's the hell?? Younger sister still took a long bath, dad said he wanted to watch the news first and then bath, then just could bring us go. At this moment, I was getting mad since I'm the one who inform all of them and asked them don't to late, but me..... sighs... Beside, I was very hungry, yet 8pm already, I still couldn't reach there.

Therefore, look, my eldest cousin was complaining me x.x and wanted me to dance, but I didn't. Then, Hao... I guess he will edit my photos or do whatever to my picture, then upload to facebook, gosh, wanna die. Well, we were chatting and joking, hehe, the little nieces and nephews were making a lots of fun and they are cute!! ^^ Wan Xin so smart, hehe~

My cousins arranged who is the most self-love among us, we would like to self-snap, LOL. First, younger sister, 2nd Qi, 3rd me. x.x Alright, if count guy, Hao is the winner. We said we're self-love family, we're thick face? haha~ We always say we're handsome or beauty. um.. Next time gather at Sunway's KTV! xD

Huey, third time I want to say 恐怖 already! Tomorrow tell you, sighs...

大年初六

I had to go car practical at noon, sighs... My parking part quite sighs... hehe~

Then, night, Foo called me five times and Wei one time, I'm sorry, I was taking bath. hehe~ Then, I had no points to reject them came to my house because I didn't hear their calls what, later they might thought I so selfish. I changed cloth and followed them to journey. xD

Hence, I'd call back them and asked them came. Four girls, Looi, Wei, Huey and I went to Neng Han's house with only one guy, Foo at night. >.<>

The first friend who fetch me by motor, I have forget. But, the first person who fetch me by car, was Sushi, second PC. I guess Foo should be proud again because he is the first guy who fetch me with motor and car also.

大年初五

I just woke up, and then PC sent me a message on time. She was so got mood to bring us go shopping centre. So, we discussed via phone at the moment, suddenly, decided to go shopping centre.

Final result, we went to Pacific. But, we didn't know want to watch movies or sing K, discussing again. The last result, haha~ we went to sing K.

Cool~ Five of us, PC, Mei, Elaine, Ley and I sang K. >.<>

Honestly, I would like Sunway sing K more than Pacific, Pacific one so... sighs... Well, surely, Pacific cheaper.

I wore the last night cloth to Pacific since I only wore it for about 2-3h.

大年初四

Another day to hang out with friends, went to friends' house again.

We went to assemble at PC's house. Well, her dog, black color came near me. Honestly, I scare of the big dog like my house and like her house. Yet, Mei said she's opposite, she fear the small dogs.We only stay at there for a while as we hadn't time, I had to back home at 1pm. My parents were waiting for me. Um, actually, the first station was my house, but as some reason so we changed.

Jocelyn came to my house about 1.10pm, just for a while she could stay. Yeah, long time no see her, kinda miss her. All of us were listening to her NS stories. Alright, we gave each other special presents secretly, hehe~ The other friends were reading Yi Fen's message by sister's laptop.

Next, we went to Shi Lin's house. Oh, Yang was there. >.<>

Moved to Huey's house, yeah, I walked to her house. hehe, it is pretty near. Some of them were playing "heart attack". Um... Kar Jin brought his two friends come also and Huat, >.<>

They four guys followed us to Li Chean's grandma's house, erm... they gambled again, but I didn't, of course. It was raining, so we had to stay until it become small.

We wanted go to the guys' house, but his parents weren't home. So, we went to Elaine's house. Oh my god, we all were wet!!! The rain was so heavy and we didn't follow the traffic twice time!!

It was our last station, we had to back home, taking a bath, and then went to Lih Shin's house at night for BBQ party.

Mei and Ley came to my house for waiting PC fetched us went to Shin's house by car, surely. We were shocked while saw S.Ching there, she chicken pork what, so however she did go, she couldn't eat those foods too. Most of them who never have chicken pork were scare of her, except me, haha~ I'm okay for that. Some of them played the congkak. We gonna back home early since PC, she wanted to watch movie.

Anyway, thanks for my friends who be my drivers, hehe~ and Shin + her family, so busy to prepare all of that.

This is my new cloth on 4th day. ^^

Another smile face of cloth, this look slim. hehe~

I changed cloth to go Shin's house, tie my hair and spray it.

My sister help me to spray it.

Hmm.... she captured it. >.<

大年初三

It's a day to hang out with friends, yeah, went to friends' house to get anypao!

Our first station, Mei's house. Mei was becoming mother, she gave us angpao, but not her mum. >.<>

Then we went to Ai Wei's house， her parents didn't at home, well, we just went there to chat, watch TV show and check the Percy Jackson's show time. However, no angpao, but we spent a lot of time at there.

We went to Ying Yi's house, hehe~ she got four dogs, three of them are small size, but I don't know what kind of dog there are. I only know that some of our friends scare of dogs and they acted funny, haha~ We played with her dogs and I had hug them too. ^^

Then, they said want to move to CW's house, but when reached there his relatives were there, so we went to Ley's house. For a while, some of the guys went to CK's house without inform us. Hence, we moved to Looi's house without inform them also.

Yeah, the fifth was at Looi's house, it was the last also. They gambled with Looi's mum, haha~ but, I didn't.

Next, we all backed home to bath, six of us (Mei, Elaine, Huey, LiChean, Ley and I) went to watch movie at 8.45pm. There was very pity that nobody fetch us back after the movie. Luckily, Huey's dad could make it. We watched Percy Jackson, it is cool, love it. hehe~ But kinda disgusting!

This the dress which I wore on the 3rd day.

I captured this on 4th day, so this pic got tied hair.

Yeah, 3rd I didn't tie my hair and even spray.

大年初二 （15 Feb)

寫完《15 Feb》我才慢吞吞的去沖涼，可我爸吹了我很多次了。因為我媽在發神經似的，一大早起來看他這樣，就不認為不會去拜年了，所以也不想出門了。

我在沖涼時，爸又喊我快點，我還以為媽沒回來，所以就慢慢咯。沒想到，沖涼好看到他們好像和好了，真奇怪，剛又吵這個那個的，現在好像完全和好的樣子。“快點啊，要去看戲。”看戲？匆匆忙忙的換衣什么的，去Sunway買不到戲票，預訂也沒有了，只好去Pacific，定晚上的11.45pm。我們看72家租客，我覺得很好看！！

This the my look at the second day of CNY.

I look tire since it was captured after I backed from cinema.

look of 14 Feb

Yesterday, my look.

It's a backless costume, but not very down, of course.

It's bought by my sisters.

My panda eyes.. yuck!

I sprayed my hair, see blue color. Hmm~

My younger sister still got make up, look very cool.

But, I didn't, I only sprayed hair. hehe~

15 Feb 2010

昨天晚上，我们一家人去吃KFC。那里好多人哦，多是印度和华人。过后，回家睡觉咯。

什么样的新年？还不是要那样过，没有Ah Ma 的家，回去做什么？到现在，我还没回去，虽说很靠近。我不停地问自己，回去看谁呢？想看Ah Ma，都不在了！看大舅吗？我不喜欢他。三姨？大姨？小姨？前几天才看过。为什么不写四姨？不喜欢他。二舅母，还好咯，我比较想念珍（淑珍）。我更想念的是我的那些gina tao,曾经是我们的“老大”，阿姐（淑珊），祥（勇祥），豪（子豪），这三个是我们分别三届的“头”，以前幼稚的很。当然，也很想我的表哥，顺（永顺），可他没回来，扬（斯扬），前几天才看到罢了。表姐，文诗，表妹们，绮（斯绮，好像写错了她的名），倩倩（斯倩）还有，表弟，杰（子杰）。Hmm~好像skip掉了四个cousins.那两对姐妹在funeral 的时候说了冷血的话，讨厌透了！那姐弟，跟他们没什么感情可言，虽然不讨厌，有时候想到他们姐弟，就会想我到底还有多少个表兄弟姐妹呢？真讽刺！

我昨晚在想我的表兄弟姐妹们有没有去Ah Ma家呢？我记得扬他们初一会回去Kulim. 有家乡可回是好事还是坏事？随便都比我在这儿土生土长来的好，两三年跟阿公吵一次，很爽啊？如果，不住这里，偶尔回来一次就不会有争执。

我并不喜欢Ptm.Pauh的家，很小，但现在我宁愿自己是住在那儿！

希望可以住那里，可能，但是要等几久？

希望。。可以像以前一样新年行程天天都排得满满的。

希望。。。 汗~没什么希望可言,希望都落空！

我宁愿像当年一样穷，可是至少穷的快乐，我们富有的是亲情。现在呢？现在是大年初二，本小姐在家写部落，等下应该不会出去了，连Ah Ma家也没得回？！爸妈吵架还没好呢！从某年开始新年都会为了钱而吵。

说我家很富有，却又说不上。很穷？又不算是。只是比中等还上一些些而已，够我们吃穿，还剩一些。不明白为什么妈咪的想法是那样的，她不会数学吗？还是，被遗传到？

每个人的新年都是快快乐乐的过，我们呢？每个人都有他的故事，我的故事。。有够痛的。

除夕夜（下篇）+大年初一

写完上篇，我才发现欣没回家，她说要在我家睡！但是，她没睡，这是意料之中的事，要在这里睡，她怎能习惯呢？算了，待会儿大姐会来跟我们一起去拜拜，再带她回家。走出房门，经过弟弟的房间，醉醺醺的睡着了。过后，才知道他喝了四杯的酒+sprite。我只喝一杯酒要不行了，还好我没喝两杯！

我看电视上播的新加波戏，想起了我的Ah Ma。有点像哭了。过后，冲凉换件衣去拜拜了。

十二点都过了，大年初一凌晨。。等大姐来，去Kepala Batas 的九王爷庙那里拜拜，还有一间在对面，不知叫什么庙来着，两间都有去。我忘了几点了，收到了祝福的讯息，有个人好早哦，一点半了刚刚好我拜完了两间庙。看着讯息，眼睛有点痛，还好我只拜主要的，否则我又会“被感动了”。有个庙的男生，他得了什么病，我忘了那病的名了，看起来样子怪怪的，他在跟大姐说话，其实我们都不认识他。我看着手机有点蒙，闪光啦，我的闪光好像又加升了，我笑，是呀，对着手机笑自己懒惰来医自己的闪光，让自己又加升了。那个怪怪的男生看我莫名的笑了，就过来要看我的手机有什么那么好笑，同时，我在回信。最反感的是他握我的手，不是歧视他，只是我向来都不喜欢陌生人动我，更不喜欢男生碰我！我轻轻的甩了三次，他才放手。当然，我并没有回答他。

回家就有上线写Patience's secrets。呵呵~三点九才睡觉。

早上睡醒，发现到还有人比我更迟睡。不得不佩服了，虽然说我喝了点酒，如果我愿意我也可以比他更迟才睡，但我不想变熊猫。守夜只守到三点多，呵呵~。

没出门拜年自会有人来我家给我红包的，年年都是这样，没办法阿公家在隔壁嘛。Erm..自从某年开始，我们就少了很多爸爸那儿亲戚的红包。不过没关系，我们每年大年初一都至少会得到五包，爸，妈，三婶，四婶和大姐。梳洗弄头发，我们都spray头发哦！可是，汗~

原本，等大姐来或许要跟他们去拜拜的，可是不请自来的舞狮，年年都这样。等他们舞完，是时候去拜拜了吧？！但。。。爸妈又吵架了，真是的，每年新年都会这样。要是Ah Ma有在就好了，因为每年去他家之后就会没事了。算了，现在没出去拜拜也没去Ah Ma家。

男生是不是都很有钱啊？有钱不是那样花的好吗？

除夕夜（上篇）

原本想上载些照片，但有些懒惰，有空再上载。

相信很多人都忙着打扫房子，可我闲得很，xD. 以前我们都会打扫啦，可现在我们的“饼饼”总会把房子弄得满地都是并干脆，所以现在只是随便整理。当然，我又整理房间，可是看到那些不属于我的书，就不知该怎么弄了。我的书架早就整理好了，可我二姐把那些书放得乱七八糟的在我书架上，有点气啦。

今天买了新的roter，所以我现在用二姐的laptop,有点不习惯。刚吃了tomyam和清汤的steamboat！tomyam得好好吃哦，两种口味的汤都是妈妈亲手熬的。我们拆礼篮了，呵呵~我姐夫要我们一人一杯的和酒，要我们喝一杯酒，我想不知有多少个会倒。所以咯，我们混spite喝，有点药水味，我现在觉得耳朵很热，有点晕，哈哈~我酒量不好嘛。希望我不会醉，要不然待会儿怎么去拜拜？不去拜拜又怎么会感动呢？

如果可以，我想要守岁，让父母长命百岁！ ^^

这城市

夜深了

这城市也渐渐入睡了

你的呼吸我听见了

只是怎么……

你却悄悄哭了

人静了

这感情也冲破了负荷

她的眼泪我读过了

但又如何

我不是爱她的

所以她祝我幸福

所以她低头离开这个伤心处

这城市没有地方让她可以停住

因为我的心里有你抱负

所以我只能幸福

所以我不该再让你泪眼模糊

思念这么清楚

痛也这么清楚

从今以后这城市的星星有我陪你数

这城市 BY 吴子云／井藤树

The person who sing this song aren't singer, but he is director of books.

My brother very like to read his books, but I never read his books before yet.

Eh~ this song is touched.

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale, you were the prince.

I used to be a damsel in distress.

You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six.

Today was a fairytale.

Today was a fairytale.

Today was a fairytale, I wore a dress,

You wore a dark grey T-shirt.

You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess.

Today was a fairytale.

Time slows down

Whenever you're around.

Can you feel this magic in the air?

It must have been the way you kissed me.

Fell in love when I saw you standing there.

It must have been the way

Today was a fairytale.

It must have been the way

Today was a fairytale.

Today was a fairytale,

You've got a smile that takes me to another planet.

Every move you make, everything you say is right.

Today was a fairytale.

Today was a fairytale,

All that I could say is now it's gettin so much clearer.

Nothin' made sense till the time I saw your face.

Today was a fairy tale.

Time slows down

Whenever you're around, yeah

Can you feel this magic in the air?

It must have been the way you kissed me.

Fell in love when I saw you standing there.

It must have been the way

Today was a fairytale.

It must have been the way

Today was a fairytale.

Time slows down

Whenever you're around.

I can feel my heart-

It's beating in my chest.

Did you feel it?

I can't put this down.

Can you feel this magic in the air?

It must have been the way you kissed me.

Fell in love when I saw you standing there.

It must have been the way…

Can you feel this magic in the air?

It must have been the way you kissed me.

Fell in love when I saw you standing there.

It must have been the way

Today was a fairytale.

It must have been the way

Today was a fairytale.

Ohh ohh yeaah

Ohh oh

Today was a fairytale

**No need to say, it's not a new song, for me. I share at here to wish every couples Happy Valentine Day.

In fact, I really don't know 14 Feb is Valentine Day, I only know there are many Valentine Days. Don't laughs!! I just know it this year as it is on first day of CNY.

Want family or your lover? LOL, the NTV 7, if I'm not mistaken, they asked so. It is so fun when I saw that. Haha~ 我不是在幸灾乐祸啦，只是觉得那台词很好笑．

No matter how, treasure your family, friends and lover as well.

Don't ask me what is my feeling of single's Valentine Day as I haven't any feelings and opinions to it. It seem like not matter, yeah, it's not matter indeed. I only have feelings to CNY. ^^

Happy Chinese New Year!! Hey guys, you should love your parents and siblings!! ^^ Wish you all have lovely, well-being and peace family!! ^^

11 Feb 2010

First, I finished reading two novels yesterday. I wasn't free yesterday because I had to car practical at the earlier morning until evening, I used 3 days to finish reading the part 1, yet I only used few hours to finish reading part 2. The novels were lent from Huey, I found that other type of novels are better than these two love novels, somehow I dislike it. The part 1 is extremely bored! Part 2 is okay, just can be accepted. It's touched, I felt like wanna to cry, but, of course, I didn't. I was kinda shocked by the novels due to some parts are so "yellow", should I say disgusting? Um.. Alright, my siblings especially the younger siblings, they'd read novels. Hence, they always asked, "Sis, what kind of novel it is? Nice? Can lend me?" Then, my mind will come out, "Oh no, I can't lend them especially younger sister." Finally, I'd reject them with the true reasons. Depends on the love novels are so "yellow", I guess I'm gonna read this kind of novel. >.<

I heard fireworks' thunder sounds at successive three night, I was shocked by the fireworks' many times. I want to know why they'd play the fireworks these few days? Isn't there has anything to celebrate? The fireworks are for Chinese New Year or Valentine Day?? Well, I didn't go out to see the mesmerizing fireworks, staying alone in my quiet room. York, I'd very excited to run out my house seeing those breathtaking fireworks, but now I'm only will stay in room, I rather to stay at my room lonely to reading novels and thinking, yeah, I would like thinking in my room, but not dreaming, it's difference between thinking and dreaming. Since I'm feeling bore to see those same "flowers" of fireworks and I haven't interesting to it anymore.

Playing songs by using my handphone, every time I'm hearing songs in my room, then it's meant I'm not happy. During the exams time, I'd do so too, to let myself spilled out those stresses. Yeah, I'd cry while hearing some songs, so then my stresses and sadness would be spilled out. Despite, I wouldn't cry all the time listen to songs, it's my way to let myself can't hear anything from other houses or rooms, so that I could calm down. Dad was nagging a lots last night, sighs, I was so down when hear it. Although, it's just a common case which would happen to my family every year during this time, "this time" meant before CNY, before we had out "Tuan Yuan Fan". Yup, we have to solve the same problems each year, melting the hot ices. I don't want to say what'd happen, but I just wanna to say I closed myself in room, using my way to allow myself calm down.

I slept after I finished reading those novels. There was about 7.10a.m, 2nd sister woke me up, um, I don't what she said. But, I continues to sleep. Near 9.00a.m, mum talked to me again, but I don't know what she said, falling to sleep again. I was so tire?? No, actually, but somehow just felt very sleepy. I guess she woke me up to help her prepared to pray. 10.00a.m, she knocked my door again, "Have gums?". Yeah, I could hear what she said this time, but I still hadn't any responds to her, closing my eyes hope to sleep again. Yet, 10.15a.m, she knocked my door again and said, "Ah Feng, wake up, pray your 3rd sister! Mei, it's too late now, don't sleep already, wake up!" This time, I quickly woke up, she said again, " Brush your teeth first." Of course, I knew I should do that at first. Hmm.. Want to pray sister, I surely would wake up quickly, I'd do it every time. My whole brain was still blur, dad shouted, "Cao, help me to look for the printer." (Later, I'm brushing my teeth.)

I guess I was still in dreaming, mum passed "xiang" for me, saying without sound in heart [those words which I use to say when praying, but this time the steps were wrong!! I said, " Bless...." Gosh, I should asked them to "eat" first! Ai ya, sorry. Don't mind already!" Therefore, this time the words [台词] was from blessing first, then just invite them to "eat". xD Looking for the printer, um.. I guess it was due to they press so much time to print, but I don't know how to solve it. Mum "po bui" to see whatever they finished "eating" or not. I guess they "said no", lol, then mum, "Ah Feng, go to ask them finish "eating" or not." Eh~ It showed "yes" while I asked them. >.<>

Then, I saw Yang drove car to fetch her mum came. He, "二姨，二姨丈". I was dreaming for a while, then just said, "小姨". Hehe~ I seem like hadn't wake up yet at the moment, yeah, every morning I'll be like that. But, actually, I wasn't continue to dream and I'll forget what I'd dreamt last night. But just when wake up, I'll blur like that.

11 Feb to 12 Feb morning (today)

who wanna watch movie on 13th Feb?

72 TENANTS OF PROSPERITY GSC SUNWAY CARNIVAL, PRAI (Phone Reservation : 04- 2223456)

12:10 PM 02:10 PM 04:10 PM 06:10 PM 08:10 PM 10:10 PM 12:10 AM ALL'S WELL, ENDS WELL 2010 GSC SUNWAY CARNIVAL, PRAI (Phone Reservation : 04- 2223456) 11:55 AM 01:55 PM 03:55 PM 05:55 PM 07:55 PM 09:55 PM 11:55 PM Above is the time table on 13 Feb 2010 at Sunway Canival, GSC Cinema. Seriously, who is free that day? And who wanna go to watch the movie? We need to back at 6.30pm. Pick one movie.

10 Feb 2010

I forgot to tell my younger cousin wrote "為什么你突然間變得很可怕？" on the CNY card for my younger sister. How funny it is? She covered it with a sticker, but my sister took the sticker out to see the words. >.<>

Every morning till evening 3pm, it's my time to use PC commonly. Other time isn't my turn to use since another 3 ppl want to fight for this PC. I'm so hot that I can't use PC at night! Then, it's okay, I won't wanna join in the fight. The most hot is my mum would like to unfix the internet line while I'm using it! She won't know how hard I should connect back? Wasting my time to turn on and off the PC and waiting for more than half hours sometime!

The house phone is broken down, if wanna let the sound in the phone hear nicer, we have to unfix internet line. It meant we only can pick one to use either internet or phone. My mum, she got her own handphone, but she doesn't want to use it to call. Beside, at night, she'll seldom to call by using house phone as my two younger siblings might scold her, so dad will lend her handphone all the time at night. Then me? Wasting my chance to playing PC and every time she would like to choose the time when I'm playing online game! Losing connection, the mark will lose also.

Then, every time she will complain to her friends or sisters that I'm very bad and so on... Okay, I'm bad.. but, you think if you're hearing a call, I unfix your line, do you want? You may get mad, right? It's the same situation when I'm using PC. I have been patience her many weeks already!

She said want to cut the house phone line while I scold her. Good, go ahead to cut it! My friends mostly won't find me via my house phone, but my handphone. Btw, I only use below RM 10 per month with my handphone, of course, I use my handphone to call too if needed. I won't use house phone to call. The house phone user is only her, so cut, it won't disturb me! I hope so, but she will only say want to cut, she won't cut actually.

8 Feb 2010

昨晚，不知道怎么了半夜突然醒過來。我坐在地上睡著了，每次半夜起來我都會坐在地上睡死。迷迷糊糊地聽見二姐在跟我講話，要我上床睡，我只想睡覺，還跟我說那么多。姐姐昨天用電腦到半夜三點，進房時剛好看到我睡在地上。

一大早起來去學車，hmm。。突然間有人在后面抱著我的頸項，Elaine嚇死人了。有點blur blur..哈哈～怡玲跟我一起學，她做示范給我看，哈哈～還好咯，沒有被罵，不錯啦，我是會駕了，只是 parking有時會忘了些step。第一次就出路了，我是緊張到他叫我踏cleck，我踏油，哈哈～有個女孩，應該是跟我同歲吧，當我在等玲時她跟我聊廢話，他好像什么都不會可是25th他就要考車和motor了。問我motor的手勢要怎樣比，my god,那么久了，我還記來干嘛？當然忘了，記得一些些而已。呵呵～

*********NOTICE*********

Date & Time :13 Feb 2010, Saturday, afternoon.

Location: Sunway Canival & GSC Cinema

Aim: Watch movies

Who wanna go? We plan to go by rapid because maybe no people can fetch. The movies aren't sure yet due to the time table of shown times haven't come out yet. Mei suggested watch "72 Tenants Of Prosperity" and "All's Well End's Well Too 2010 ", anyway idea? We'll back about 6.30pm or maybe before 6.30pm.

7 Feb 2010

昨天爸爸進來我的房間叫我們起床去Penang. x.x 我還想睡呢！

乘船到了那里，妹問：“那個高高的建筑是什么來的？”

有夠笨的！那個是什么也不知道！Komtar啦！都不知道他是不是檳城人？！

爸爸用福建話問要不要去極樂寺八角亭 (Beh Ka Teng)，結果。。。妹又再問什么teng？什么東西來的？

Zzzz... 我：“跟她講華語啦，連Beh Ka Teng是什么也不知道！”

我們先去Prangin Mall, sadly.. I got flu! Zzz.. I was like dying there. I really didn't want to eat lunch since I was very full yet, but my dad... he called for me and forced me eat. x.x

去極樂寺。。zzz...爸爸每次都會講要去吃Air Hitam的 Laksa, 結果沒半次帶我們去過，只會 "shia" 我們。

爸爸：“要去吃laksa嗎? 我知道你想吃laksa很久了，gian laksa 的。【爸在問我】”

我：“你每次都講要去吃，但是，什么時候去吃過？”

哈哈～媽媽和妹妹都笑了！好笑嗎？事實啊！

爸爸：“等下爬山下來吃咯，這里沒位子park車。我們爬下山，你和媽媽滾下山har?你們兩個不能爬山的。”

x.x 媽咪和我都“有名”不能走太遠的路。

去round極樂寺，hehe~百看不膩，每年至少去一次。可是，天后宮真的是。。好像十年不變。媽咪留在極樂寺和他的朋友去吃dinner 。我們就走下山去吃laksa，爬上爬下，這一上一下真的讓我的感冒好了，我還流了很多汗，恨不得沖涼！真的，當時我真的很想沖涼，熱死了！不過，妹說我的臉紅了，熱到紅，哈哈～ 聽他們念經，我不會念啊只是雙手合十。看他們開燈儀式，我什么都沒看到，我站的很后面，有些人站在上面看，我好想上去哦！我只是看他們的放炮而已，我只是看到些而已，電話響了，惠的訊息。我們幫極樂寺算他們一年湊到的錢，上million耶！怪不得極樂寺的和尚可以駕Merz。

過后去Queenbay Mall，去一會兒而已。回的時候我聽到了一首歌好象是唱著“給我一千個傷心的理由”，忘了，這個很熟悉，可是我不記得歌詞了。我在想啊，我還能找一萬個傷心的理由呢！但，為什么要那么白癡去找一千一萬個傷心理由個自己去難過呢？雖然說我不是很開心，但又不想要去想為什么不開心。

不知道為什么我一整天都沒說什么話，應該是我生病吧。我就不想要說話呀。回家弟弟講我們存心做model給他看， =.=" 我們姐妹習慣了買完全部新年已后就在家一件一件穿出來做fashion show, haha，平常都是選弟弟和爸爸媽媽不在家時我才會穿出來給姐妹看，可是昨天，突然就想穿了。

沒有上課，沒有賀年片收！ x.x 我的兩個堂妹要我幫他們傳賀年片給我妹，真悲哀，他們不是給我的！不要跟他們好了，哈哈～幼稚！

Introvert + 5th Feb

Don't you feel that why I would like to change many things to words, blogging?! Now, I tell you who I'm. Um.. I tell you what kind of person I'm from my own opinions.

Many people think I'm a person who very quiet, yeah, you're right. I dislike to talk, I only like to listen to other. York, I was a person who very introverted, now also but just a little not so.

I could look at people's eyes when talking with them since last year, I guess. Yeah, york, I couldn't face other's eyes when talking with them. Now, I found that I start to escape from other eyes again when talking with them after Sunday. What's wrong with myself? I don't know also, I just hope that I can back like last year I did.

York, I'd like to use words to describe my feelings, now also. I don't like to use languages to tell other my feelings and my matters, but words. It is an act for an introvert people do.

York, I'd hide behind my mum when met some relatives who I seldom to see. Despite, I don't hide myself now, I won't talk with "strangers" so much also.

I'm the weaker among my siblings, I'm a cry-baby. I'll cry easily depends on a kinda matter. They won't so easy to cry and they can do many things while something bad happen. But, I'm difference, I only know how to cry and do nothing! I hate myself in this part. I wonder know if there are haven't them here, what will be happen if only left me to face all of that? I think I'll like I was standard 5, standing at there and crying only!! This time, I also know how to cry and know how to shout dad, no, saying accurately, I was begging him!! Eh.. if you see what I did, you will know it is an action which weaker just will do. They could control their emotions as well, didn't cry much and they tried to prevent many things and they even could say out what they thought. But, I couldn't say anything and couldn't help them anything also.

When something happen, what I know is just crying! Gosh, I hate myself!

I hope to change myself back to can face other's eyes when talking.

I hope to don't be a cry-baby when something happen, I wanna like my siblings do.

I hope I'm not a introverted person.

Can I change these attitudes?

But, it have follow me since I was been born!

Ahh....

***Addition about 5th Feb***

Um.. I went to Tanjung to look for S.Ching and Mei. Hehe~ There were very funny just now! Mei called a ...I don't know how to explain, anyway we thought "he" is guy, but actually...Mei said she is girl... so while Mei called her "aunty"...um... I was laughing.

While eating, I forgot what the jokes we have already, my memories are getting bad lately. Anyway, we all laughed like crazy in the food court! Haha~

Back to Tanjung three of us had contact to our secrets. um.. sighs.. most of that aren't secrets soon, I guessed. so regret to find them just now...Sob.. sob...

They forced me to answer their questions.. sob..sob..

haha~

A cold coffee

I'm drinking a coffee after back from Tanjung Tuition Centre (About this, I'll describe later). The coffee from hot turns to cold, it's bitter as no sugar. I left 1/3 cup there, somehow I didn't know how to continues to drink it, my brain is full of what happened on Jan.

Huey said my blogs become mature, isn't true? Alright, maybe I'm really becoming mature, but I still feel like I'm still immature and I hope I immature forever too. Why?

1) I won't know what happen between those adults!

2) I needn't have so much worries.

3) I'm still innocent, I needn't do anything while something happen between adults.

4) I don't know what is hurt!

5) I'd live in my happy world.

How great it is if everything didn't happen? How great it is if I didn't grow up? Perhaps, I'm still a sick girl who always need to face doctors, nurses, medicines and needles, but I don't scare about it anymore. Contrary, I'm happy and no worries, I'd only scare of dad's strict face. Don't dreaming, girl, the truth is you're 17 now and soon 18!!

How can I haven't any changes? Do you know there were many things happening on Jan? #Drinking one sup of coffee, I guess I needn't sleep later already. LOL. It's doesn't matter me if I wanna sleep.#

***************The first grievance on Jan***************

5 Jan I started to work, this was my first job. Yet, you know I feel wronged and grief while I was working. They bullied me, I just wanted to cry all the time. Then, I quitted after 8 days, giving the reason for my family with my legs pain, but not I was bullied by them. Well, my family don't know I was bullied by them also. I hoped to tell somebody about it, but then I turned it becoming words in blogs. I didn't really find someone to concern myself. Nowadays, dad would say, "Why you don't work until the end of month? You just need to patient the painful for few weeks, then you'll get much more salary than now. You ar... princess, needn't to work one at home." I won't say anything when I heard so, I didn't tell them that due to they bullied me and I wasn't happy. Since I feel there is needn't to let my family worry about me and I should learn how to hide from them.

**************This is the second grievance on Jan**************

I thought I could take a rest for few days, then I gonna to find another job for myself. Yet, after about 3rd days from the day I quitted, I faced another small challenges of life again. What there are? Um.. I hurt two guys at a short period, one on Thursday and another one on Saturday, I feel sorry to them. I'm a person who will say word very fast sometime without have a process from my brain, sorry yar. Hmm.. I still feel sorry to both of them until now. That aren't the main point, the main point is I feel grief because of something. This is the reason why I locked my blogs. I wished to have a friend can understand and can concern me, but then I didn't tell anyone about what's wrong with myself. I feel needn't to let other worry about me and this was about the things which many people can't understand. Hence, I turned my sadness to words again, blogging but I locked my blogs on the same time.

***********This is the third grievance on Jan************

The fourth week, it is the last week for Jan, I thought I could release the sadness slowly already. Yet, unfortunately, what happened on Sunday? God, help me please!!! It's my nightmare!! However, everything is fine now, I'm still feeling afraid!! The screens are always running in my mind now also! Huey asked, "Don't you fear when you came out from your room?" I tell you the real, I scared, but the sadness covered all my scared feelings. My mind just wanted to stop everything! I didn't want to show out to my friends and even told them what happen also, moodiness! I turned my grievance and frighten to words, blogging again. This time I forgot my friends will worry about me. I didn't want to tell anyone about what happened that whole Sunday, but I told Huey after I met her. She is the one who knew background more than other friends, so I told her. Don't jealous, it's not a good matter and this isn't a proud matter to know my background also.

I met so much hurts on one month, how can I don't have any changes? Perhaps, I'm mature than before now. If let me choose, using a life challenge to earn a mature mind, then I rather don't want to be mature! I don't want using a hurt to change myself to be mature!! If let me choose, using a hurt to change the relationship between my family with me, I rather. Therefore, I don't know I should thanks god, he let me builded a strong bond between family now or I should blame him as he hurt me? Perhaps, I have to thanks him since parents are closing with us after that. But, it will be my hurt forever.

If let me choose, I rather to be my niece. She doesn't know what happened that day, she just kept holding and hiding behind of me while I held dad. Although, she was scare and blur, nobody answered her questions, " Mummy, why you cry? Aunt, why you cry also? Aunt, why grandpa cry? Aunt..." She had a lots of questions to ask me and usually her questions would get the answers from us, but that day, what she asked, she didn't get any answers! No, she is a child, so she needn't to know it, this is what I think. I hope that she won't know grandgrandpa's matter forever, she shouldn't have hurts like me.

After these matters, everything happened on Jan are burst out!! My feelings are getting worst! Well, honestly, I hope to have a friend can concern me, but I don't want to bore and throw my matters to other and also let them worry about me. Look, what my friends did for me when I blogged about Sunday, I'm appreciate with it, THANKS. Therefore, I don't like to let you all worry indeed, I rather keep everything for myself, using laughs to cover sadness.

I finished my cold and bitter coffee now.

我愛華語

昨天看MR.Siao說實在的，我們都不看的，只是沒有人要關電視。只能說那個節目有點白癡，不過我很喜歡他的一句話-我愛華語。

我拿華語并不是因為它是我的強項，很明顯的它不是我的強項。我也不知道為什么總覺得華人就應該學華語啊，就連別的種族也在學，為什么連身為華人也不讀華語呢？我喜歡華語，但喜歡到什么程度，我就不知道了，從來都沒想過這個程度上的問題，呵呵～

文言文，白話文，名句精華。。都還好，我都可以掌握，可是漢語拼音就真的難倒我了！我的漢語拼音基礎不好，超爛的！是自從用手機或電腦打字才學會一些，但是第幾聲跟第幾聲我真的是不會了！可是，我的三嬸總是會問我關于堂妹的功課，汗～別的我還會教，可是每次問我漢語拼音，我都是亂亂來的，呵呵～教壞小孩罷了！

其實，繁體字看起來比較好看，但是卻很難寫，因為我們習慣了簡體字了。你要我用手寫繁體字的話，我應該寫不出吧，不會它的結構。但是，我讀得懂繁體字，要不然我怎么打繁體字而不是簡體字呀？

學英文的同時也不能讓自己的華語生銹，我的英文超不好的，很明顯啊，呵呵～

*****福建話*****

福建話是我第一個學的語言，以前我在家習慣用福建話。我的父母都是福建人哦！阿公有教我們“家族語言”，就是那些別人聽不懂的福建話，我們講的真的是福建話啦！我不知道要怎么解釋，就是一個福建字可以有很多意思，我們把它用成某種意思，而這個意思很少人會用。比如，“kiao”-坐得懶洋洋或死去了，我們還用成另一個意思-睡覺，睡覺可以叫“kun”，但是我們跟阿公講話就是用“Kiao”的，還有很多啦。

以前我的福建話講得很準的，可是現在一點都不準了。應該是自從五年級那年媽媽跟阿公吵架以后我就很少講福建話了，因為在家用華語比較方便，我妹聽不太懂福建話。以前，跟阿公講話當然是用福建話的嘛，過后沒人跟我用福建話交談就慢慢的發音不準了。大姐前幾天才笑我的福建話講的不準，變成了第二個妹妹了，我的意思我變得跟妹妹一樣講福建話發音不準。不過，我至少比他好我聽的懂。

現在好想練會我的福建話發音哦！！怎么可以連侄女都不如呢？！慚愧呀！

我講的這個阿公就是前幾天跟媽媽吵架那個，鬧得。。。 如果，他不那樣罵爸爸。。弄得。。不說了。。原本不討厭的，現在卻很討厭他了！！最近連做夢也會夢見當天的情形！真的很恐懼！

mix

2nd sister has her own laptop already. Hehe... And soon.. few months later my turns!! xD

Eldest sister asked me, "Your friends who want to work air-corn?"

I answered, " Huh? They can't even work at Econsave, you want ask them help brother in law to work??"

I know you all can't work this kind of job one. So... um... If your air-corn has any problems or want buy air-corn call this 012-5512044 （豐興冷氣服務，齊上楊）. But, lately his working time is full already, so need after CNY.

I got nightmare last night again!! Zzz... I woke up twice time...

Sighs.. so many things.. I should forget and I thought I had forget, but now it seem like not..

Everything burst out after Sunday, I mean my dreadfully heart and sadness. I thought I can forget the matter which happened a few week ago, but now so many things mix together... it's breathless... it's frightening!!! 3 worries, 2 sadness... I lost my optimal soul!!!

Oh yeah, I should explain to her... sighs.. but, don't know I still have the mood to explain. Erm... anyway.. just feel sorry to her and she thought I.... Well...well... I was so touch that when heard she said miss you, take care... yeah, I have been long time didn't hear it already, so I said her sampat... hehe.. We always use to say love you, miss you... at school, but what was my responds when she said so last time, I would answer I don't love you and laughed. So lame. hehe.

It's a mix blog as I wrote something that I wanna write last few days ago, but moodiness ... and wrote something about yesterday and today.

Recently

Finally, I bought a shirt which I love the most, excited!

Uh.. but, the pants I still not buy yet.

Well, I met Lay Peng's brother yesterday. (You may not know them) I have been long time don't meet them already especially her brother. Umm... I forgot what name he is. Anyway, I wanna say he changes a lot, looking mature. He was very cute and handsome last time, yeah, although, he only younger than me one year old, somehow, I feel the guys who younger than me are cute. Hehe. Oh yeah, Yee Cher becomes handsome and mature too.

Ahh... I can't sleep well lately and always have nightmare. I woke twice time per night. Then, I wanna take a nap.. but, my eldest sister came to wake me up and brought me accompany to buy matters. Then, I took a nap at 5.00pm, yet 2nd sister turn off my fans while 6.00pm when she backed home. Okay, never mind... I slept again after that, but younger sister turn off the fans again when she backed home at 7.00pm!! Geram! I couldn't sleep anymore!

Hm.. my parents bought a lot cookies, so cool, hehe... love it. And... my brother in law bought a "li lan" for us, so big size and tall. There got the chocolates, chocolates cookies, Brands "ji jing", wine, drinks and so on... anyway everything is out beloved. It's quite expensive too... I feel the foods especially cookies are can't finish one. Zzz... Although, I only picked two clothes for my own and other were picked by sisters, there are quite pretty too and... the style is out of "normal" ... I mean which I wear usually. hehe..

A frightening fight. A scary flounce . A fearfully condition. A dreadfully nightmare. A horrible day. A terrible hurt.

Somehow, I'm still scare now... however, everything has passed.

A never

A scary quarrel was happened, it is never so frightening like that before.

I never saw he cried..and he also.

I never lost control like that.

I never hate a person like that.

I never shouted like that.

Now...

I never saw my younger sister is so hardworking.

She studied automatically yesterday.

And, help me to do household chorus.

Yeah, I did household chorus.... with other two sisters!

when we all become so diligent.

Hope that.. younger sister will be like yesterday always...