Many people think I'm a person who very quiet, yeah, you're right. I dislike to talk, I only like to listen to other. York, I was a person who very introverted, now also but just a little not so.
I could look at people's eyes when talking with them since last year, I guess. Yeah, york, I couldn't face other's eyes when talking with them. Now, I found that I start to escape from other eyes again when talking with them after Sunday. What's wrong with myself? I don't know also, I just hope that I can back like last year I did.
York, I'd like to use words to describe my feelings, now also. I don't like to use languages to tell other my feelings and my matters, but words. It is an act for an introvert people do.
York, I'd hide behind my mum when met some relatives who I seldom to see. Despite, I don't hide myself now, I won't talk with "strangers" so much also.
I'm the weaker among my siblings, I'm a cry-baby. I'll cry easily depends on a kinda matter. They won't so easy to cry and they can do many things while something bad happen. But, I'm difference, I only know how to cry and do nothing! I hate myself in this part. I wonder know if there are haven't them here, what will be happen if only left me to face all of that? I think I'll like I was standard 5, standing at there and crying only!! This time, I also know how to cry and know how to shout dad, no, saying accurately, I was begging him!! Eh.. if you see what I did, you will know it is an action which weaker just will do. They could control their emotions as well, didn't cry much and they tried to prevent many things and they even could say out what they thought. But, I couldn't say anything and couldn't help them anything also.
When something happen, what I know is just crying! Gosh, I hate myself!
I hope to change myself back to can face other's eyes when talking.
I hope to don't be a cry-baby when something happen, I wanna like my siblings do.
I hope I'm not a introverted person.
Can I change these attitudes?
But, it have follow me since I was been born!
Ahh....
***Addition about 5th Feb***
Um.. I went to Tanjung to look for S.Ching and Mei. Hehe~ There were very funny just now! Mei called a ...I don't know how to explain, anyway we thought "he" is guy, but actually...Mei said she is girl... so while Mei called her "aunty"...um... I was laughing.
While eating, I forgot what the jokes we have already, my memories are getting bad lately. Anyway, we all laughed like crazy in the food court! Haha~
Back to Tanjung three of us had contact to our secrets. um.. sighs.. most of that aren't secrets soon, I guessed. so regret to find them just now...Sob.. sob...
They forced me to answer their questions.. sob..sob..
haha~
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