The first post for 2014

After enter Uni, I'm getting lesser and lesser to be here. Erm.. I think it's since form 6. xD

At here, I use laptop to type those reports rather than this. Haha..Using the time to type reports, to complete it is better than I type a blog.

It has been so many years, & even right now I'm still trying to learn how to don't too care about something, I means like a friendship thing.
But, why I still will cry right now or when people ignore me?

I appreciate that friends from secondary school seriously, our relations are never including enemies, we are simply love each other so well with our simple heart.

But, at here, it lets me feel that it's about social. Of course, there are still some simple ones. Anyway, I hope that I won't change my simple heart to anyone also.

I don't like complicated.
I don't like enemies.
I don't like fake.
I don't like depends on benefits.

I just want to be myself.

Sometime, something ... I don't understand, I don't know the answer, I will not go find the answer by myself too. Perhaps, it's what my learning attitude too. :p
Anyway, I guess I will never ever get the answer.

However, the result is not what I want, it was failure since a very long time ago, I guess.

By the way, I watch a movie lately, the guy says, "The world is simple, but the human's heart is complicated."
I guess it is true. & I like sentence.

Bye.
ps: continue to stay for few more days to the next paper.

lost

Why I wanna so care about it?
Sighs...

Emo~

I have been ignored by the friends and juniors here is not the first day thing, but I was sad indeed today.
Sighs...
I'm the secretary, she is the secretary also.
how come the junior just ignore me, and ask me to excuse today. =.-"
I already try to don't mind the other MT & commitee which are our batch friends to close with her, & my another two friends who are same bureau with me.
I'm not as active & talkative as them. I knew. fine.
My president said before," she looks strict, I don't want kacau her la. I want Yen~~ Yen~"   =.-"
Okay, Is fine. Is really fine. I knew my problems.
I'm not as cute as her.

Then, back to four of us, yea, four of us are close. But, I'm the one who keep let them ignore.
Leyi for first will care Yen first, Sandy for first will care Leyi then Yen.
Then me?

She said, "you are the one who know how to take care ownself the most, so I never worry you."
Yea, I tried to protect myself to don't get hurts, but doesn't mean I'm strong.
They sad, they will 哄 among them, then me?
Take picture... hmm.. What I see the picture she took is just both of them, then me?
When there is a picture which need with members & 合照 just will remember to call me.
No wonder my pictures are the lesser. LOL.

Am I too serious? Am I too strict? Isn't my face problem?? I look strict?
I can't played & joked? or they don't know my limit? &they afraid to step on my limit?

I knew I'm not active & delight & good smiling face as them.
& I also don't like to say hi to other.

That are my problems...  I'm trying to be active, trying to hide the unhappy in front of them already.

Erm.. i should change myself maybe.

bad job!

I'm a serious person, a very serious ones. So, please don't let me be a leader, otherwise, people will feel stress & feel I'm strict when they're working with me.

I have just ended a chinese culture night in my uni. It is a big carnival, & this was not only inviting other uni students & our own uni students, but also the resident there. I take it very serious at the previous sem when I was just a multimedia bureau's member. I was the one who controlled the videos & slide to present on the projector while my partner was Yi fan (yes, our secondary school ones). I did some mistakes during the event, I knew it & I was blaming myself for few days. It was just the mistake like pressing too fast for the emcee's speech (translate ones).

This sem, I was the one who guild the juniors for the projectors, playing the videos & slides. Did I not teaching well or we are not too serious enough? Or we never tell them that the importance of this event? The juniors who I handle, they made some serious mistakes. Sighs.. I wanted to scold them, but when I see they were panic after they realise the mistakes. Besides, I taught them & kept repeating the flow & ways many many times for the whole day, but why I still see they were doing wrong & kelam-kabut to find the videos' folder? sighs!!

Honestly, seriously, I'm not satisfy for the juniors' present this year, no matter under me or my friends!! How come the job we take it seriously for every sem, but they treat it as a game? Moreover, we did smaller than this sem at the previous sem, but we still panic & tried to perform well all the things. Both same as first try to the projector, why they ?? Between, this sem we have technicians beside to help them, but we controlled all last sem & at least we do better. Sighs....

When the attitude is not there, you can't do anything well.